They just cannot help themselves, whether it’s a rising star in GOP circles, or a long-time, grizzled elected Senator. I’m enjoying the complete lack of any pretense as bigotry continues to spill from the lips of these folks, who either cannot digest or have to desire to digest the message that the GOP “autopsy” conducted and released by party head Reince Priebus conveyed about “outreach” to the very groups it has spent decades alienating. The autopsy is spawning a lot of classic GOP walking [brain] dead.

Zombie #1. Let’s go to the new guy first. Ben Carson, ace surgeon, is seen as the future face of color in the GOP. He’s also just as retrograde as the next homophobic good old boy when he came out with this gem on Faux News:

“My thoughts are that marriage is between a man and a woman,” Dr. Ben Carson, director of Johns Hopkins Hospital’s Division of Pediatric Neurosurgery, said during an interview with Fox News host Sean Hannity. “It’s a well-established fundamental pillar of society. And no group, be they gays, be they NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association,) be they people who believe in bestiality — it doesn’t matter what they are. They don’t get to change the definition.”

He seemed shocked that this didn’t go over well once word got around. Students at Johns Hopkins want Carson replaced as commencement speaker after that craptastic statement.  So Uncle Ben decided he would try to walk it back…and it’s a big #FAIL:

“You know, as a Christian, you know, I have a duty to love all people and that includes people who have other sexual orientations, and I certainly do, and never had any intention of offending anyone,” Carson told MSNBC host Andrea Mitchell. “If anybody was offended, I apologize to you. But what I was basically saying is that there is no group. I wasn’t equating those things, I don’t think they’re equal.”

Mitchell makes him look like an @ss. Tip to Carson: just don’t bother with the apology if you’re going to say “it was taken out of context” when there is no other context to read into the bile. Just get off of the media and stop making it worse. But please feel free to ignore this advice; it helps our cause for you to continue to spew it.

Or just go old-school unapologetic like stumbling, bumbling Zombie #2,  Rep. Don Young (R-Alaska), who apparently is caught in a time warp and thought that in 2013 this was OK to say this during a radio interview with KRBD-FM:

“My father had a ranch; we used to have 50-60 wetbacks to pick tomatoes. It takes two people to pick the same tomatoes now. It’s all done by machine.”

More mind-blowing stellar #GOPoutreach. He gets bonus points for this walk-back:

“During a sit down interview with Ketchikan Public Radio this week, I used a term that was commonly used during my days growing up on a farm in Central California,” the statement said. I know that this term is not used in the same way nowadays and I meant no disrespect.”

“That word [wetbacks], and the negative attitudes that come with it, should be left in the 20th century, and I’m sorry that this has shifted our focus away from comprehensive immigration reform,” he stated.

It’s basically “I used the slur and it was A-OK when I was a little boy because everyone around me said it”. So he’s illustrating that now that he’s an old man, he’s learned nothing about that term in between. Young got scorched by his colleagues for his zombie bigot rant. You know the pile of walking dead poo the party is in when someone like Sen. John Cornyn (R) erupts like this:

There is no excuse for ignorance” and said that Young, a congressman of 30 years, should “know terms like ‘wetback’ have never been acceptable. Migrant workers come to America looking for opportunity and a way to provide a better life for their families. They do not come to this country to hear ethnic slurs and derogatory language from elected officials. The comments used by Rep. Young do nothing to elevate our party, political discourse or the millions who come here looking for economic opportunity.”

Reince, you’ve got a lot of work to do  to control the roaming zombies between now and the next election cycle.