Look, I have no idea whether Manti Te’o is gay. Only he can answer that question. But the football player’s fake dead girlfriend hoax story isn’t going away, and the number of plausible reasons for this fantastic charade occurring are dwindling.
Given that the primary fable foisted on the public by Te’o and Notre Dame — that he was a rube fooled by persons unknown, suckered into a Catfish snare/online relationship scam is falling apart (see: Buzzfeed’s “Two Days After He Knew It Was A Hoax, Here’s Manti Te’o Talking About Losing “My Girlfriend”), he’s down to only two other possibilities. Revising the list of my pal at DKos, Scott Wooledge:
“Te’o is either a)
the most gullible person ever, b) a sociopathic liar, or c) a gay athlete. How interesting that GAY is the most sympathetic option.”
Cyd Zeigler of OutSports does go there, because, as a gay sports journalist, he has discussed the closet’s impact.
I’ve heard from sports writers, fans of Outsports, leaders in the gay-sports world, and even old high school friends, in the last six hours all wondering, “Is Te’o going to be the first openly gay NFL player?” Read for yourself and come to your own conclusion.
I personally don’t know. But it seems to be the question everyone is asking. If he is, I hope he finds strength and acceptance; The vast majority of his friends, teammates and fans will support him whole-heartedly. If he’s not, I hope he can answer some questions, because people want to know why on earth he would concoct this totally fabricated story — including eight-hour phone calls — if they never happened.
I can certainly understand why people think this might be pointing to his sexual orientation. There has never been a publicly out NFL player. There has never been a publicly out Div. 1 football player. But we know they’re out there. And if they were out there and wanted to hide their sexual orientation — or a relationship with another man — a fictitious girlfriend is a good way to do it. The fantastic story about car accidents and death by leukemia would just be showing off that stereotypical gay flair for the dramatic.
Now the mainstream media is really on the hook now if it avoids the question — according to Cyd, who addressed this on my Facebook wall, he’s heard from many sports writers who told him that they were scared to address the closet angle:
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Cyd Zeigler Pam, they aren’t ignoring it, they simply are so gun-shy that they’ll get attacked by GLAAD and the rest of the gay community that they can’t go there. Though now that I wrote about it, some are mentioning that I wrote about it as a way to discuss it. 18 hours ago
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Pam Spaulding Cyd, there’s no reason for GLAAD to erupt if they simply did their job as journalists. The problem is that they are gun shy because they equate sex life with sexual orientation. No one is digging into his sex life, the question is why anyone would go through such an elaborate hoax. And the answer is right there — homophobia in the media and in the sport at a PR level. I think he could come out and be accepted by his team. But now this story involves such levels of creative lying and enabling that raises questions about ethics, fear and desperation. Notre Dame should have stayed out of it.
And over at Notre Dame — what were those folks thinking? Whatever “investigation” it did prior to its hilarious press conference in support of the “Te’o was duped” tale, it must have involved a bargain-basement P.I., since Deadspin’s excellent research unraveling that the gf didn’t exist wasn’t exactly rocket science.
The university is going to come to regret taking on this PR disaster. If Te’o comes clean — and the closet turns out to be the reason for this mess, I hope that Notre Dame will support him; it would send some big, historical shockwaves in the media about homophobia, sports and the pressures on this young man. If they toss him under the bus for it that would be tragic.
I discussed this story with folks on Facebook yesterday, and it resulted in an interesting exchange. What’s important is whether the media avoidance of asking the simple question of whether the closet was the driving force for this. Not doing so implies it’s worse for Manti Te’o to possibly be gay than a rube or lying publicity hound. What they need to do is make it possible for the man to come out of the closet if he is, in fact, gay. So far the journalistic backflips to speculate every other scenario except the obvious give me little hope. How about this take at ESPN – Teo’s a schemer or prey…no consideration of a third possible motive.
“This can only play out two ways. Either Te’o is telling the truth or he’s a Lance Armstrong-caliber liar. Either he is a victim of a pitiless hoax or part architect of it. I want to believe Swarbrick. I want to believe Te’o. I want to believe there is a special place in hell for those who would prey on a person’s better angels.”
Or how about the pathetic bob-and-weave of Forbes’s Monte Burke, who whispers in our ear about the closet angle; he cannot even bring himself to say it, as if being gay is akin to being an ax murderer.
“Was Te’o hiding something else with a fictitious online girlfriend? This darker, more complicated question had been hinted at in various places online. I’ll let you dig it up if you want.”
What’s the motivation for Te’o fabricating meeting his fake gf? Whether he is gay or not, the elaborate nature of the hoax has now been enabled by Notre Dame, and any media outlet that doesn’t discuss the role of Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, a friend of Te’o, who is allegedly behind the fake Twitter account isn’t doing its job. It’s becoming quite clear Te’o was in the know, and if he was, then the explanations for this fiasco are few, and the closet is just as valid a line of discussion as pimping himself for a Heisman through sympathy over a tragic hetero relationship.
Look at the list of major outlets that never bother to check whether Te’o's girlfriend was flesh and blood. It’s embarrassing. And now that the manure has hit the fan, here’s some epic #FAIL at damage control by the South Bend Tribune, trying to erase its story about Te’o meeting his fake gf.
It’s all a sad mess. My hope is that Te’o finds a way to be honest about why this occurred, for his own sake. This story will go down in the history books for all sorts of reasons because of its bizarre nature, but under the surface, there is a significant tale about how our sports culture loves to build heroes in very specific molds that makes it difficult to measure up to, especially when fame and fortune is enticing. That would explain the possibility that Te’o engineered this for publicity and the Heisman angle to some degree, but for god’s sake, isn’t there a better way to enhance your own PR than a stunt like this?
What isn’t in our sports culture is a template for a gay athlete to come out, yet the sports world does have redemption templates and excuses for the boys club of misogynists, sexual predators, violent felons and bullies in its ranks. Some self-examination is definitely in order.




23 Comments


Why is this a front page story here?
Who really gives a damn!
It would be nice if FDL covered the story of Lizzy Seeberg, who killed herself at Notre Dame after authorities ignored and covered up her rape by a member of the football team.
Why should I care about some delusional college kid’s fantasy?
“I hope that Notre Dame will support him; it would send some big, historical shockwaves in the media about homophobia, sports and the pressures on this young man”. And it couldn’t hurt to send some shockwaves the Vatican’s way either. I mean, what could be a more Christian (and I’m talking 1 B.C. or 1 A.D. Christian) position than to accept and forgive a gay man’s lie from the country’s pre-eminent Catholic university? The gulf between the Vatican’s beliefs and U.S. Catholics’ general beliefs has been very wide since the mid-60s. It would be a great time to throw the gauntlet down and show that not everyone has to be in lockstep with the Vatican’s doctrinaire and increasingly archaic positions.
KrisAinTX: I second that.
Also, could it be that this story was concocted in order to ‘get past’ what happened to Lizzy Seeberg?
Mostly they texted at night. Mostly. (h/t Newt)
Do a diary about her. If it is to be, then it is up to me.
Um, no. Why would Manti Te’O concoct a flimsy story that once exposed would greatly hurt his future prospects, simply to help the sports media bury the Lizzy Seeburg story? Occam’s Razor applies.
New meaning to the phrase, “Slow news day.”
I think this is a really good and useful post, and FTR I am not a sports fan and hadn’t heard of this player.
Though there is the caveat that the humans are weird, and it is still possible that there will be some other explanation.
Thank you, Pam.
A handful of great diaries have been written. MyFDL is an opinion page, though, as you well know. It doesn’t receive anywhere near the level of attention that the front page does, nor does it carry the same weight.
Sorry, Pam. Your stuff gets more salacious and gossipy by the minute. You don’t offer a shred of evidence that T’eo is gay, and you don’t say why it should be the topic of our speculation. And you don’t reply to criticism, either. I am strongly invested in the advancement of GLBT rights, and keep coming to your articles because you seem to cover that territory here, but there tends to be far more heat than light. All best.
Fascinating as this is (honestly), I’m with Starbuck. It’s not front-page worthy on this site. I think that’s true just subject-wise but at this point, it’s all speculation anyway.
You’re damn good with the excuses.
on edit – never mind. Nothing to see here. Move along.
And again it shows how ridiculous it is to worship a bunch of future burger flippers
I read this story as a critique of the media in their coverage of LGBTs.
When Todd Akin spewed his nonsense about legitimate rape and the magical powers of women’s lady parts, FDL called that out on the front page. Are LGBTs not worthy of the same kind of attention?
FDL has a very long history of calling out the silence of reporters in politics — the most prominent example being the late Tim Russert’s testimony at the Libby Trial, where he said all his conversations with people in DC were presumptively off the record. The insider culture of access political journalism in DC is corrosive, and FDL has long called it out for what it is when reporters pull their punches. Why is the same treatment of sports journalists who pull their punches somehow less appropriate?
There are way more than 3 possibilities.
T’eo may have a reality problem.
He may have been told to fake this by his agent, church or school.
It may have been a joke that got out of hand.
It could be a complex version of 2 of these & something else.
Maybe he just got bored & thought it would be funny.
There’s so much fakery involved in big time athletics – involving basic stuff like whether he’s an employee or a student – and religion that a simple fake girlfriend is nothing.
So why the demeaning comments to/about Pam and then ending with “All Best”, you hypo-crite?
Please review Peterr’s post about a different perspective than your “salacious and gossipy” bullshite.
The real hoax is the whole ND football team. How did they get ranked #1 and invited to play in the championship game????
The teo the player hoax is just a hoax to draw attention away from the real ND is a #1 team hoax.
I have a different take. In January of 2012 espn screwed up the bowl game between Stanford and Oklahoma State when they displayed what I took to be the renowned kicker who was about to win the game for Stanford. The person they showed just before the kick was on his knees looking heavenward, apparently doing the christianist dance espn loves to force on us. Anyway, after all the praying the kicker missed, then missed again, costing Stanford the game, which I thought was a classic. In my mind espn interferred with that game with it’s christianist horseshit, and should have been rebuked. So now I see the same type thing with this guy Te’o, who loves to point to the ceiling just like espn’s clowns do. I would check carefully for espn’s involvement in this mess. As for espn, you’ve done enough damage to America with your christianist horseshit, please spare us. And one more thing: what happened to that kicker you had on his knees? Is he still in football, or was he destroyed?
Ditto that. Thank you, Pam.
Conservatives won hearts & minds because they were willing to bring the conservative message to whatever people are talking about, whereas liberals classically think if we’re not discussing the interstate commerce clause, it isn’t serious.
This is what people are talking about, and Pam’s thoughtful piece presents the only plausible explanation I’ve heard so far. It’s also the only sympathetic explanation, and if it turns out to be true, I hope the team and the sports world support him in it, as she asks.
Only plausible explanation? Really? Did you see downpuppy’s post above? And I notice no rebuttal from anyone to Matthew Detroit’s completely valid comment that not one piece of evidence for Te’o being gay is presented.
I’m saying that from the perspective of someone who does follow college football and does find this story fascinating. But it being on the front-page here seems more sensationalist than anything.