Man, scanning headlines on the weekend can result in pulling up some cray-cray stuff. It’s hard to believe that the fossilized Religious Right televangelist Pat Robertson is still alive and kicking. It was even more interesting that he was scanning Maxim mag, saw a query from a teen about the distant relationship of his parents, and decided to offer up some sage advice. The question:

“I’m 17 years old and I’ve noticed that there has been a change in my father’s behavior,” he wrote. “He spends too much time at the computer playing a war game. I’ve noticed how alone my mom feels. I just want my father to spend more time with my mom. What should I do? How can I talk to my father? I feel shame for him. Please help.”

Good thing this 17-year-old didn’t personally ask the 700 Club host for advice because he would have received the following in its full misogynist glory (via Alternet’s Laura Gottesdiener):

“The romance is obviously going out of the marriage…You know, it may be your mom isn’t as sweet as you think she is; she may be kind of hard-nosed. And so, you say, it’s my father, he’s not paying attention to mom, but you know mom …” he trails off and offers a spiteful little chuckle.

…He launches into another story: “A woman came to a preacher I know — it’s so funny. She was awful looking. Her hair was all torn up, she was overweight and looked terrible …And she said, ‘Oh, Reverend, what can I do? My husband has started to drink.’ And the preacher looked at her and he said, ‘Madam, if I were married to you, I’d start to drink too.’”

It was also noted that Robertson had no data to back up how women (and attractiveness or lack thereof) are to blame for failed marriages, save his own experience that “comes with 58 years of marriage, so I know what I’m talking about.”

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The other bout of right wing lunacy comes from the man who lost his seat in Congress in November and he apparently has no plans to slip into the shadows of private life and media silence. Allen West, conspiracy theorist and owner of spectacular retro fade, has something to say about gun violence — and what he believes is common sense advice…Gun Control Is ‘Your Index Finger‘ (Huff Po):

Former Rep. Allen West (R-Fla.) said gun control comes down to the finger you pull the trigger with, calling the larger discussion on gun violence part of a “political agenda.”

“This is your gun control, this finger right here — your index finger,” West said in aninterview with Newsmax TV. “Nothing happens with that gun until you put that finger into the trigger well and you pull it. So my concern is that we’re not talking about the real issue, we’re talking about a political agenda.”