Two stories this week caught my eye. I have no problem with our Second Amendment. I do have a problem with the mental functioning of some of my fellow Americans bearing and selling arms.

Case #1: The Conspiracy Theorist – stock up because Obama is coming for your weapons. This mindset is as old as the hills. I mean if Barack Obama has been President since January 2009 and these gun-lovers still have their weapons in 2012, why is this belief rampant? From the Lone Star State (which of course, has folks ready to secede as well) – Raw Story, the Black Friday bum-rush for guns:

FBI records released earlier this week indicated that the bureau fielded 154,873 calls for background checks last Friday, beating last year’s record of 129,166 background checks by about 20 percent.

Jerry McCall, who owns Texas Guns in San Antonio, thinks he knows why.

McCall pointed to President Obama’s re-election because “more people feel under the gun to get one in anticipation of possible new laws restricting gun ownership,” WOAI reported.

But wait, there’s more:

“He’s also sold to customers who may be preparing for a ‘doomsday’ scenario as we end 2012, in case the Mayans were right,” according to the station. “I bought my gold. I have my food. And now I’m buying the gun so I can keep my gold and my food,” McCall recalled one customer telling him.

I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that some of the birthers, far-right gun nuts are getting prepped for the Mayan apocalypse coming up on December 21, 2012. I don’t think even facts published by Faux News will stop the doomsday prep:

On the 21st, the date of the winter solstice, a calendar cycle called the 13th b’ak’tun comes to an end. Although Maya scholars agree that the ancient Maya would not have seen this day as apocalyptic, rumors have spread that a cosmic event may end life on Earth on that day.

Thus NASA’s involvement. The space agency maintains a 2012 information page debunking popular Mayan apocalypse rumors, such as the idea that a rogue planet will hit Earth on Dec. 21, killing everyone. (In fact, astronomers are quite good at detecting near-Earth objects, and any wandering planet scheduled to collide with Earth in three weeks would be the brightest object in the sky behind the sun and moon by now.)

That leads us to Story #2: The Deep-Fried Gun. You’d think that will all of the news about weapons being taken away and doomsday approaching, that a perp trying to rob a restaurant would have a more effective battle plan than this:

Much remains unclear in the bizarre incident that occurred shortly after 9:30 p.m. at El Diamante Restaurant, 2830 E. Charleston Blvd., near North 28th Street.

The biggest question of them all: Who threw the biscuit – slang for gun – in the deep fryer?

“It was discovered the gunshot was a result of a firearm being tossed into a deep fryer and exploding,” a Las Vegas police report said. No one was hurt .

Although no one was arrested in connection with the shooting, 44-year-old Obdulio Gudiel was arrested and accused of attempted robbery with the use of a deadly weapon in connection with an incident shortly before the gun was fired.