And he sank that 1% battleship AGAIN. Gawd, the country dodged a disaster on election day.

I’m not sure if Mitt Romney’s election post-mortem conference calls with donors were supposed to go like this, but his freestyling redux of his contempt for the 47% “moochers” and “takers” on the government teat was on grand display.

You can only imagine it was his Id, sore and pissed about his failure as a presidential candidate, with a shaky finger on the “launch” button of a heat-seeking missile aimed right at his party for tossing him overboard so quickly after the election. All that talk about outreach to Latinos, that growing demographic demonized all campaign season long by the GOP; the talk of how sh*tty their pro-rape candidates were that sank their chances to pull the wool over the eyes of women, after Mitt stood by Akin and Mourdock, not calling for them to step aside.

Now it was his turn, he had the open phone line to regurgitate his desire to blame all the darkies, the brown folks, students, anyone who benefits from a government program (and I assume tax break — are those who take a mortgage deduction “takers”?) — you know, the “urban” vote that of course was bought off by the President. Mitt’s Id pressed “launch”:

“With regards to the young people, for instance, a forgiveness of college loan interest, was a big gift,” he said. “Free contraceptives were very big with young college-aged women. And then, finally, Obamacare also made a difference for them, because as you know, anybody now 26 years of age and younger was now going to be part of their parents’ plan, and that was a big gift to young people. They turned out in large numbers, a larger share in this election even than in 2008.”

The president’s health care plan, he added, was also a useful tool in mobilizing African-American and Hispanic voters. Though Mr. Romney won the white vote with 59 percent, according to exit polls, minorities coalesced around the president in overwhelming numbers — 93 percent of blacks and 71 percent of Hispanics voted to re-elect Mr. Obama.

“You can imagine for somebody making $25,000 or $30,000 or $35,000 a year, being told you’re now going to get free health care, particularly if you don’t have it, getting free health care worth, what, $10,000 per family, in perpetuity, I mean, this is huge,” he said. “Likewise with Hispanic voters, free health care was a big plus. But in addition with regards to Hispanic voters, the amnesty for children of illegals, the so-called Dream Act kids, was a huge plus for that voting group.”…

The delusion of Mitt Romney is that he refuses to believe the majority of Americans rejected him…the savior of the 1%. And so now the GOP leaders are left in the wake of his missile of #FAIL yet again, covered in ash and climbing out of the rubble to explain why their party and the man who was at the top of the ticket aren’t really out of step with most of the country.

Out trots an embarrassed Bobby Jindal.

Asked about the failed GOP nominee’s reported comments on a conference call with donors earlier Wednesday, the incoming chairman of the Republican Governors Association became visibly agitated.

“No, I think that’s absolutely wrong,” he said at a press conference that opened the RGA’s post-election meeting here. “Two points on that: One, we have got to stop dividing the American voters. We need to go after 100 percent of the votes, not 53 percent. We need to go after every single vote.

“And, secondly, we need to continue to show how our policies help every voter out there achieve the American Dream, which is to be in the middle class, which is to be able to give their children an opportunity to be able to get a great education. … So, I absolutely reject that notion, that description. I think that’s absolutely wrong.”

Of course Jindal and the GOP are just upset that their packaging of the message was crap this time around. The lesson, they gather, is that talk about probing uteri for the presence of fetuses,  God-ordained rape babies, and talk of “illegals” will probably not win votes. The failed presidential candidate has a major malfunction — his anti-47% attitudes are so hard-wired that they just launch at any provocation, you know, like a chance to reflect about why his campaign was rejected at the ballot box.

Jindal is the perfect delivery mechanism for a false message of moderation, something Mitt Romney could never be. Alex Pareene at Salon:

Go through the Politico story on its Jindal interview and you’ll see that he is actually not saying anything at all. Jindal is clearly pursuing the same agenda as he was before the election. His point is that this agenda should be branded slightly differently.

This is his prescription: The Republican Party should stop saying stupid things.

“It’s not going to be the last time anyone says something stupid within our party, but it can’t be tolerated within our party. We’ve also had enough of this dumbed-down conservatism. We need to stop being simplistic, we need to trust the intelligence of the American people and we need to stop insulting the intelligence of the voters.”

The “something stupid” he refers to is all those weird comments on rape, which kept being said because all of these candidates were trying to explain their (mainstream Republican) positions on abortion. Bobby Jindal is not saying “let’s moderate our position on abortion,” he is saying “let’s not talk about it so explicitly.” (“On cultural issues, he suggested the party not retreat from its stances opposing abortion rights and gay marriage but rather soften its tone on such matters.” Just talk about opposing gay marriage more politely!)

No, Bobby, the “problem” is that the GOP thinks that they can win by nailing this fantasy 53% of voters time and again, assuming none of them benefit from “free stuff” or know and love someone who does and they don’t see them as “takers.” A message that targets the 1% won’t resonate with most Americans at all, no matter how much they aspire to be part of that 1%. The GOP has relied on this upward mobility/pull yourself up by your bootstraps model of messaging for some time. And to a degree, like all arguments, there is some truth in self-reliance play a role for some who manage to strive and succeed at getting out of the ghetto. But to ask Americans to ignore the vast advantages that the wealthy have —  the tax breaks, shelters and other significant advantages they have over Joe Lunchbox  that allow them to keep that wealth  – is preposterous. George W. Bush’s reign of economic terror removed the illusion that hard work=success as millions lost jobs, homes and a sense of security. The rich remained wealthy while they were rendered homeless, underemployed, and saddled with medical bills that bankrupted their families.

All while the GOP — and Mitt Romney — told Americans in distress that they were lazy and happy to be on unemployment rather than working.

It is nice to see Mitt Romney hit that launch button of #FAIL once again.