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“The Question” has come up again a few times, in light of NC election results — “Why don’t LGBTs there just pick up and leave and go to a Blue state?”
Why this question again? With marriage equality blooming in Maine, Washington state and Maryland, there is a stark juxtaposition when you look at what happened in North Carolina — the state is now going to be under the thumb of complete, GOP, Art Pope-funded control. Rob Schofield, The Progressive Pulse:
Pat McCrory may be North Carolina’s Governor-elect and a hyper-gerrymandered legislature may be solidly in conservative hands, but there was one man who was the biggest winner in the state last night and his name is Art Pope.
From the Governor’s mansion, to the General Assembly to the courts to the university system to the regulatory agencies to the increasingly conservative mainstream news media, Pope lackeys and apologists now run the show in our state (or soon will). Like some long-bullied kid in a horror movie who quietly and ruthlessly engineers the demise of his tormentors, Pope has suddenly emerged as the unchallenged kingpin of the Tar Heel state.
And, barring a miracle, North Carolinians (and the public structures and systems that once set them apart from the rest of the old confederacy) are about to experience the full effects of his backward-looking agenda.
That means the possibility of an outright hostile environment for LGBTs here. The Koch Brothers’ “Mini-Me” Pope had his hands all over support for Amendment One. Stuart Campbell of Equality NC paints a picture of what lies ahead for LGBTs here after Tuesday’s results:
We are still waiting for official results in many North Carolina races, but we are heartened that openly-gay state Rep. Marcus Brandon will be returning to the General Assembly. And while openly-lesbian legislative candidates Susan Wilson and Deb Butler lost their bids last night, their historic campaigns have become a model for fostering LGBT leadership for years to come.
Republicans won the Governor’s mansion, expanded their majority in the state House and Senate, and held control of the Supreme Court, signaling a challenging environment for progressive causes. However, virtually all of our endorsed pro-equality Council of State candidates were re-elected, keeping allies in some of North Carolina’s highest offices.
Despite any setbacks here at home, this is a momentous time in our collective movement. And we have to seize the moment: get right back to the work of telling our stories, changing hearts and minds, and improving conditions for every single LGBT North Carolinian.
And so, for the next two years it will be up to all of us to let those in Raleigh know that any attempt to roll back LGBT rights and protections will be met with unprecedented opposition, and that people in every district, every region, every corner of the state, are now ready, willing and able to fight if need be.
So let’s go back to The Question. There’s not a one-size-fits-all answer:
1) For some LGBT North Carolinians, the fact is that they simply cannot afford to pick up and move;
2) Others choose to stay and will continue to work for change — they see the growing social progress, progressive enclaves (and businesses) that cannot be stopped by Pope or any other wingnut temporarily in office;
3) Some WILL leave, out of frustration, seeing the current oppressive legal environment facing gay couples and families as too much to deal with on a personal level, and they have the means and support structure to make it happen.
For me – this is my state. It cannot and should not be handed over to a dying breed of bigots, even if they have pockets full of cash. I was born here and chose to come back to NC (from NY) because Durham is a wonderful place to live and work — and to be out of the closet.
Logistically, in my case I suppose it would be hard to leave anyway; my health concerns tie me to my current employer and precious health insurance — let’s be real — my pre-existing conditions/disabilities would make it hard to land employment and benefits elsewhere. Like many Americans in my situation, picking up your life under these circumstances is a decision that can have far more immediate, dire consequences than whether one has the right to marry. But, even leaving that matter aside, Kate and I are happy here in NC. And we’ve been here to see the positive culture change that has developed because of LGBTs and allies who do choose to stay.
That said, there’s nothing wrong with choosing to leave — not everyone is built for potential self-sacrifice or handling the perpetual stress of never knowing when your lack of civil rights will be tested in the most personal ways — you can be fired for being LGBT in NC, no questions asked, unless you are fortunate to have an employer has anti-discrimination policies. That’s the tip of the iceberg.
In the end, that was the tragedy of Amendment One back in May — it was a premature battle over whether to amend the state’s constitution to “protect” marriage brought to the voters because of the legislative switch to GOP control after the 2010 midterms. Placing the marriage cart before the horse of conversations between North Carolinians about basic civil rights in NC for LGBTs was a difficult, and in the end insurmountable task because its proponents wanted the amendment on the primary ballot, leaving little time to have those face-to-face discussions — but those conversations are now occurring, neighbors are talking to neighbors about our lives as LGBT individuals and families.
That’s why it was good to see that the people of Minnesota were ready to turn back religion-based bigotry and ignorance at the polls on Tuesday. North Carolina wasn’t ready back in May, but the wave of failure now facing the National Organization for Marriage and their ilk is growing; it will have an impact.
The Question is offered as a solution, an opportunity to “escape” to freedom from what is seen as a civil rights hellhole (usually a Southern state, for obvious reasons). People who stay aren’t ignorant of what they don’t have…they simply make the choice that is right for themselves on the timeline of their lives. Might Kate and I decide to pick up and leave if some last straw of oppression and discrimination breaks the camel’s back or if some beacon of opportunity presents itself? Perhaps — I have no crystal ball. Life is filled with limitations as well as opportunities. Staying can present an opportunity of its own as well.
We can all make a difference in many ways — writing a check, online or offline organizing and activism — and choosing to stay where there’s work to do. It shouldn’t generate “The Question” as often as I’ve heard it. But still it does.
9 Comments
I have great memories of Durham and can certainly undertsnad why you want to stay…plus, having a progresive enclave in a place such as NC has or is becoming is important; it stands as an example of what might be possible for the rest of the state when bible banging fear mongering loses its impact
Regarding the question “Why don’t you just leave?” I refer to the late Paul Robeson’s response to bigoted Congressmen asking him the same question about leaving the USA during the McCarthy era. Robeson responded “…and I am going to stay here and have a part of it just like you. And no fascist-minded people will drive me from it. Is that clear?”
Regarding the meme that NC’s Amendment One was too early or unwinnable. That’s just a damn lie. The spectacular failure of the NC Amendment One vote was due to a spectacularly incompetent campaign.
In 2006 — 6 years earlier in the US LGBT movement — Virginia passed their “Amendment One” by 57%.
In 2012, NC passed its Amendment One by 61%.
And of course here in 2012 Minnesota is rejecting and more narrow — NOT civil union-banning — amendment just 6 months later.
As we’ve seen across the country today and in years past (Virginia), competent campaigns matter. NC did not have one against Amendment One.
While that sounds like a negative assessment of NC, it’s actually meant to illustrate that the future of LGBT issues in NC isn’t that bleak.
But it does matter greatly if competent people are running a movement or campaign when you try to make political or legal change.
As my alma mater says, I’m a Tar Heel born, I’m a Tar Heel bred, and when I die, I’m a Tar Heel dead.
I’m not going anywhere. But I am looking for competent leadership.
It’s a thought provoking question Pam. I was born and raised in North Carolina, and I have always loved it…it is a part of me. I don’t live there now, but I live in Florida, and that might be worse. I’m lucky in that my job would allow to live most anywhere, so that doesn’t tie me to any particular place. I’d move back to N.C. in a heart beat, but I’ve loved Tampa for the past 14 years, and my lover is from here. I did move here for a location specific job, but now could go anywhere. If I weren’t here, I’d choose the Old North State, and work to make a difference.
This question resonates with me as a resident of Texas. Why don’t I move?
A bunch of reasons… first off, this is my home. The economics, especially in Dallas, are compelling for me, and especially the LGBT demographics, community, as well as the BDSM lifestyle community here. Texas is hardly monolithic, and the big urban centers here are solidly blue. The Dallas gayborhood (Oak Lawn) is one of the top 3 or 4 in the entire country (and yes, I’ve been to The Castro).
And best of all, shifting demographics here are in the process of turning Texas blue. I’m not going to leave now when things will be getting really interesting.
Texas might in fact go full-on blue before Florida, which is being held back by the former Cuban brothel owners and their progeny, who have been voting Republican ever since they first appeared in Florida over fifty years ago.
The answer to the question is, actually, a simple one. They can move, but you still have other LGBTs who are born in your state; i.e., “born that way”, and still deserve to have civil and equal rights. Not to mention that if ALL the gays moved out of non-welcoming and gay-hostile states, you’d have a significantly decreased population and thus a decreased economy and less electoral votes. Is that really what you want?
Best answer I can think of: Why should they?
I’ve lived in NC all my life.
I remember the embarrassment of hearing Jesse Helms railing against homosexuals and the get out the vote drives against him in the gay community. I saw many of my friends over the years die from AIDS, stigmatized and ostracized by their families or an NC health care system that didn’t give a damn. I also very clearly remember in the 90s trying to put together three gay-themed indie docs and being turned away from otherwise liberal and progressive Triangle film and arts organizations because of the subject matter of my work. I’ve been told to my face by prospective employers in the Triad and Triangle they wouldn’t hire me because I am gay.
There are several problems with NC’s left.
The NC Democratic Party is out of touch and organizing and campaigning with methods and an attitude from 30 or 40 years ago. During this election cycle, I got tons of flyers in the mail everyday from the NC Republican Party and perhaps one or two from the Dems. I got calls every few days from the national Obama campaign and outside groups like MoveOn, asking me to help organize for Obama’s reelection – nothing from the NC Dems.
I have a friend that’s been laid off for a good three years, strugling with no health insurance on small part-time jobs. He’s about to loose his house. He’s been a strong advocate and volunteer for the Dems for years. He got tons of calls from Republicans and only one from the NC Dems inviting him to attend a $250 a plate dinner.
NC Dems, for two decades, have focused on economic growth in the Charlotte, Triangle and Triad areas and have offered no solutions for rural NC except promoting tourism. It’s no wonder that I’m seeing my home town bereft of young families with skills and education moving away to the cities or out of state for jobs, leaving the area very old and very much in control of right-wing extremists.
Progressives in the Triangle have gotten all hot and bothered about the rights of migrant workers or human rights violations in some far-off place, living in a little bubble that’s not engaged with what’s going on right here in NC.
It’s not just Art Pope’s money that’s changing NC’s political landscape. It’s a left that isn’t responsive and engaged with what NC really needs.
The only reason I’m staying in NC for the moment is to help take care of my aging parents. I have no plans to stay here. Many of my friends gave up on NC years ago, while I held out some hope that things could change. I’ve thrown in the towel – it will probably take one or two generations to undo the damage to the state’s economy and social climate that hate-filled Republicans and oblivious Democrats have allowed to occur.
I keep seeing this kind of comment about the effectiveness of the Amendment 1 campaign. But, the comment never actually includes what the writer feels was wrong with the campaign or what should have been done instead. It doesn’t help to complain without providing the details.