There’s an old saying in politics, “Give the people a choice between a real Republican and a fake one and they’ll choose the real thing every time.”
After Thursday night, we can now update that to, “Give the people a choice between real hot messes and phony hot messes and they’ll choose the real ones every time.” From The Hollywood Reporter comes news that the second episode of MTV’s reality TV show Jersey Shore bested the GOP debate handily.
Airing its second episode on Thursday, Aug. 11, Jersey Shore pulled in 7.4 mil viewers. The program still remained the evening’s most watched cable broadcast, even besting the GOP debate with 5.053 mil total viewers on Fox News Channel.
Only five million televisions were tuned to the debate? Only 5,000,000 of us gave a damn what these people had to say? We have approximately 260 million televisions in American homes. They only got 1.9% of the televisions in America? If you pull it as pure population numbers, 5 million out of 311 million people watched the debate. That’s only 1.6% of us.
Beyond the fold, if you didn’t watch either, here’s a sampling of photos and quotes of what you missed to catch you up! The cast of Jersey Shore has relocated to Florence, Italy for this series of episodes.
I clearly identified the quotes and pictures so you can tell them apart.
GOP Debate: Mitt Romney at the debate:
“Look I’m not going to eat Barack Obama’s dog food, all right. What he served up is not what I would’ve done if I would’ve been President of the United States.”
Jersey Shore: Deena (on floor above) says while grocery shopping in Italy.
“God, everything’s in another language. Oh my God, it’s so hard in a grocery store trying to figure out the hell what is what. You’re reading and it’s like different words. Like what the hell is this. Like, nothing’s in English.”
GOP Debate: Rick Santorum on his deeply felt commitment to a improving the lives of women and gays:
“I don’t apologize for the Iranian people being free for a long time and now they’re under a ‘mullahcracy’ that tramples the rights of women, tramples the rights of gays, tramples the rights of people all throughout their society…”
Jersey Shore: Ronnie (left), on getting uncomfortable after sharing the two-person jacuzzi with Vinny (right).
“It’s like a love-cuzzi because it gravitates you towards each other.”
GOP Debate: No love here, Pawlenty on Bachmann’s Congressional record:
“It is an undisputable fact that in Congress her record of accomplishment and results is nonexistent.”
“If Jionni can’t make Snooki happy, then The Situation’s happy to step up to the plate and hit a homer.”
GOP Debate: Newt Gingrich on his frustrations with the “gotcha” questions being asked.
“I’d love to see the rest of tonight’s debate asking us about what we would do to lead an America whose president has failed to lead instead of playing Mickey Mouse games.”
Jersey Shore: Ronnie (above right) misidentifies the painter of the Sistine Chapel:
“Vatican, that’s the one that Leonardo DiVinci painted with his hand.”
GOP Debate: Is abortion ok in cases of rape? Rick Santorum said:
“To put them through another trauma of an abortion, I think is too much to ask.”
How kind of you not to “ask” them and to “spare them the trauma” by denying it as an option. I’m sure the trauma of delivering their rapist’s child will be minimal, after all.
Jersey Shore: Jennie “JWOWW” (third from left) is done urinating on the street:
“Where’s the closest bathroom? I’m trying not to piss in public…again”
If only the GOP would stop pissing on the American people.
There you have it, two reality shows, both shameful and embarrassing displays of American values and “intelligence,” intended to distract us. Only one is watched by the “serious people” however and presents a real danger to America’s future.