You may be Rapture-ready, but what will become of your kitty ‘n pup when you go to your reward on May 21?  The animal-loving atheists at Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA have got ya covered!



You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved.  But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind?   Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward.  Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus. [snip]

For $135.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved.  Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $20.00 fee.   A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

Note the recent rate increase:

Notice of Rate Increase:  Due to the increased activity associated with the May 21, 2011 Rapture prophesy we have increased our service rates for all new contracts submitted as of 1/13/11.

Related:

* God created marriage equality to signal Judgment Day on May 21, 2011.