It’s great to see such a nice long feature on the enigma that is Dan Choi. He has many personas based on your political perspective, but what most people can agree on is that he generates strong reactions all around. Depending on your view he’s a hero, an attention-seeker, a patriot, a man of color, a “newly minted” out gay man (who has had his Grindr profile repeatedly deleted because the staff thinks he’s impersonating “the real” Dan Choi by using his actual name for his profile), an activist, a couch-surfer, you name it.
Village Voice staff writer Steven Thrasher, a friend of the Blend who has spent time in the coffeehouse as both a diarist and a liveblog guest (re: his infamous “White America Has Lost Its Mind” piece), has painted an interesting portrait, “Bad Lieutenant, Dan Choi,” that may surprise some, but if you’re a critic of MSM reporting, you’ll understand why this kind of profile hasn’t emerged in traditional media.
He has angered the left by not being lockstep antiwar enough at times, and by warmly welcoming Ken Mehlman, Bush’s campaign manager, to the gayborhood when he came out.In a movement awash with political correctness, Choi decidedly isn’t. He is now speaking out without being asked, sometimes even angering people in his own camp. Rare among gay-rights activists in the national spotlight, Choi mixes an irrepressible sense of humor into his growing militancy.
Choi “has a public role and a private life,” one friend tells the Voice. “In his private life, he sometimes exhibits behaviors that, I fear, if caught on YouTube by somebody who was a conservative spy, would reflect very poorly on him and, by extension, on the movement. On the other hand, I’m just kind of jealous. There’s a lot of me wishing I could be out there and be as open as he is.”
Choi is unapologetic. He says he resents it when anyone, especially those in the gay-rights movement, discourages him from exploring-well, sexually-his newly revealed homosexuality.
“I think our movement hits on so many nerves,” he says, “not just for reasons of anti-discrimination and all the platitudes of the civil rights movement. I believe that it’s also because it has elements of sexual liberation. And it shows people that through what we’re trying to do, they can be fully respectful of themselves, without accepting the shame society wants to throw upon them.”
At Netroots Nation ’10.
And that’s the Dan Choi I’ve become familiar with — he’s the real deal off camera, no BS, all (too much) candor for the Beltway orgs. Think “loose cannon.” I mean that as a compliment, since by and large, many bloggers are seen in the same way, though I’d argue we play it a helluva lot safer than Dan does; he extends himself to represent those who wish they could speak out, as the unnamed friend noted. He could be seen as the Howard Beale of activists, unafraid to speak his mind in dramatic fashion, though perhaps that’s not quite right; he cleans up nicely for those on-air appearances, and he smoothly takes a jackhammer to BS – ask Valerie Jarrett how she felt after the fact-based smackdown she received on CNN last week. The White House is still trying to figure out how to recover from it.
***
At Netroots Nation ’10, Dan gave Harry Reid his West Point ring; the Senate Majority Leader said he would return it when DADT was repealed. Guess he’ll have that ring for a long while…
I was seated at the table with Dan at Netroots Nation when he prepared to go onstage and give Harry Reid his West Point ring. It was a dramatic moment that everyone knew would effectively lock the Senator into some kind of action, but Dan was nonplussed.
But to Choi’s mind, Reid’s gamble of attaching gay rights to a defense bill gave the Republicans a legitimate reason to feel shut out of the debate. So what happened in Vegas didn’t stay in Vegas.“Harry Reid is a pussy,” Choi angrily said after the failed vote in the Senate last month, vowing to speak out about the Democratic leader, “and he’ll be bleeding once a month.”
That won’t get him a job as a Beltway mouthpiece, lol. Steven’s profile captures the Dan I have engaged with, a complicated, quite entertaining and in fact lovable (would he like me saying that?) young man who believes in social justice and is willing to pay the price to achieve it in ways most people don’t feel comfortable doing.
Choi says he lives out of a couple of bags and, being used to “falling asleep wherever you have to” in the military, he doesn’t seem to mind the nomadic life. “I’m in a relationship with the movement,” he says. “And in any relationship, sometimes you have to sleep on the couch. And sometimes, even with the movement, the couch is literally a couch.”
I was around him at Netroots not long after he heard about his discharge papers being issued; it was so uncomfortable, even painful to know that he was experiencing a rush of emotions long-suppressed about the prospect of this finality.
“I just wanted to be alone, and I was in the belly of the beast, surrounded by every liberal blogger in America!” he says. With all eyes on him, he thought, “I have nothing else to give.”
Yet he continued to give, even doing TV and radio interviews in the wake of learning about his discharge papers while still in Vegas. Off-camera when I saw him milling about the hotel, he was very much a drained solitary figure in many ways. Those who accuse him of grandstanding or being a publicity hound could not be more off-base. He’s an articulate representative that you know will make the best case for equality when he goes on the air; and we need more Dan Chois to be visible and speaking truth to power — and using the mainstream media is how it’s done. We see too many of the same tired, talking heads who don’t have the experience, poise, and perspective Dan has. It’s not whether Dan should be on less, it’s that we need more diverse voices to counter not only the anti-equality mouthpieces, but the equally dreadful well-paid “conventional wisdomitis” sufferers who engage in embarrassing banter based on conversations in the bubble of the Beltway. You don’t have to always agree with Dan Choi’s rules of engagement, but he’s stepping up to take action with passion where others are content to attend cocktail parties and play it safe.
Anyway, Steven scores a win with this piece IMHO. It’s lengthy, so surf over and tell fellow members of the coffeehouse what you think of the profile.




58 Comments


I wonder if this might be the gay male version of “good hair”It is fine to be openly gay, as long as we are not sexual about it. Kind of like the way it is fine to be proud about one’s African heritage as long as your hair does not look African.
I don’t care what others say or thinkabout Dan Choi. He has my enduring admiration and respect. It is unfortunate he is not our fierce advocate President!
Don’t give Dan Choi a pass on his misogyny
In Choi’s mind, Harry Reid is a woman because he was ineffective in the repeal attempt. This doesn’t make him “lovable,” or in any way admirable. Pam, I don’t understand how you could let this go without comment. Choi owes us all an apology.
Homophobia is deeply rooted in misogyny. I, for one, don’t need a spokesman who doesn’t value my identity.
Dan Choi is a hero.I suspect that heroes are always lonely. One way or another.
Oh, please…”MISOGYNY”?????
The term “pussy” has long evolved to mean a weak person period of either gender.
I know Dan Choi personally, and he is not a misogynist, for Goddess’s sake!
True story….
…from a gay vet who was there and witnessed it in shock. Dan went to the opening meeting of the gay vets lobbying days in May, cosponsored by SLDN and SU and HRC.
Despite being the best known active duty gay servicemember in the room…and world…despite having almost singlehandedly having pulled the issue of DADT out from under the narcotizing heap of impotent press releases and “open letters” from those three groups…..who had agreed not to use the hundreds of vets they’d brought to Washington to publicly criticize Obama in ANY way ….despite having, by then, not just risked his Army career, but twice gone to jail for civil disobedience at the White House…which NONE of the organizers had…risking federal prison in the process for potential violation of federal law and Army regulations for wearing his uniform in the process….despite all of this he wasn’t asked to address the group in any way, wasn’t even recognized from the podium by other speakers.
It wasn’t Obama, Inc., or the Army who silenced him that day, it was Gay, Inc. … and one of their rewards was all of them got invited to a once secret, “off the record” meeting at the White House today.
“and he’ll be bleeding once a month.” That puts the total lie to your interpretation/excusing of Choi.
My statement stands….
Do you two even know what “misogyny” means, or is it just one of those buzz words you throw around?
It means “HATRED of women.” Equating this with HATRED of women is like equating an insult with murder.
Thanks for telling women what they’re supposed to knowand how they’re supposed to feel about slurs.
Choi might as well have called Reid a cunt.
YOU don’t speak for “women” any more than I do….
You can “feel” whatever YOU want. That and three bucks will buy you a small latte.
How else would it work?Calling another man a ‘pussy’ was meant as an insult, was it not?
How, pray tell, would being a ‘pussy’ (or by implication, having one) not be an insult unless it was assumed that having a vagina is somehow bad? Only females have vaginas, therefore females are somehow less than. It’s meant to devalue someone on the level of female based on that assumption, that women are less than men. There’s just no way for it to be an insult otherwise, Michael. So please stop being such a dick. See? It only works based on intent. If being a jerk were a good thing that wouldn’t have worked!
Yes, Dan Choi is a good activist and figurehead. But to be a truly great champion of rights for all GLB’s, he needs to at least try to not let things like this slip out. Would you give him a pass on a racist statement?
What’s your problem, buddy?Me plus the female-named poster above equals 2 women.
I’m new here. Are you just one of those fellows who likes to argue endlessly and has to have the last word? And what’s with the incessant ALL CAPS and bold bullshit?
Dan, Guest of Honor, at “The Atlantic” magazine’s recent dinner for their Brave Thinkers issue.
What I’m saying is…
…let the “charge” fit the “crime.”
Actually, Yes She Does. Being a woman, she speaks for infinitely more women than you do.
Was that in the Baretta theme song?Implying women are less-than is misogyny. Using a term like that furthers that it is acceptable. If you notice, the original comment was not that Choi is a misogynist; it was that he should not automatically get a pass for misogynistic actions. He did the “crime”; he made the statement. The “charge” was applied to the action, not necessarily the person.
My hope is that he has been steeped in a military culture where such actions are acceptable. Not because I want it to be okay for our military to be abusive to women, but because it might mean that Mr. Choi might not actually feel that way about women. Then again, he might. I’m glad he chose to take on the task of fighting for equality, but often those in the spotlight find out that they are actually under a microscope. Let’s hope he hears of this and learns to not repeat it, because it kinda dilutes the whole “equality” thing if his misogyny is heartfelt.
Not at all surprisingHe is an unstable element in their universe; he has the potential to upset their nice, cushy meal cart by actually forcing the issue of equality. Emperor’s clothes and all that.
Then again maybe they were worried he’d use language learned in the armed forces unbefitting of lobbyists and the tuxedo crowd. :p
Using terms as insults
And the term “gay” has evolved to mean something weak or stupid. So by your logic we shouldn’t be insulted when someone uses the phrase “That’s so gay”.
When you take a term that is closely associated with a particular group and use it as general insult, then you are clearly inferring something negative about that group.
Amen, sister!You took the words right out of my mouth….
XOX Dan ChoiYou know, one could be suspicious that Dan does grandstand a bit, but not give a fuck about it, so long as it doesn’t get wildly out of hand.
I mean, what group (or even individual) doesn’t grandstand a little?
Words matterOur language is full of anti-woman words that have become common usage: “man up”, “ballsy”, “girly”. Dan Choi may not be a misogynist, but his statement was hate speech, pure and simple. He said women are weak and unclean. That may not have been what he meant, but that’s what he said. Words matter.
You are speaking from a position of male privilege. Ask your mother, sister, or female friend what it’s like to make 77 cents to every dollar earned by her male co-worker, or to hear her son’s football coach tell his players to “quit acting like little girls.”
Choi has a national platform, and he has a responsibility to use it wisely. We have a responsibility to call him (and anyone else who speaks for our community) on statements like this. Words matter.
I always get confused…when people see an either/or.
One of our battle strengths is that we can press the cause on many fronts in many different ways.
Put another way, we’re all better off because there is both a Gay Inc. and a Dan Choi.
Why is there a need to feel like there is one type of activism or one is the best? Even within the confines of basic poly sci for groups without political power, there is still a range of action.
For instance, I don’t give a shit if Dan S tells the WH, “Fuck you you bunch of fucking co-opting bastards” or whatever, as long as that isn’t the only message.
If you are just a bundle of range or just a bundle of fecklessness, then that doesn’t work.
We need a judicious balance, and, so far, Dan Choi helps to fit the bill, no?
(Of course, I hear the ears of ever conservative spy in the country going up, but that’s another day.)
oops“range” s/b “rage” and “ever conservative” s/b “every conservative”
yeah, I definitely winced on that one
I know him too, and don’t believe for an instantthat he’s misogynist either.
But the language is misogynist, definitely. It implies women are weak, the source of strength is masculinity. The “bleeding” is pretty out of line. Biblical in the shame of Eve kind of way.
He’s a hero and a friend to me. But I can’t defend everything he says and does.
That would make me no different from an Obamabot.
SecondedAs much as I adore Dan, the fact that he felt it was okay to demean women by equating Harry Reid – a person for whom he felt contempt – to me, a woman, in such a derogatory manner is insulting. Frankly, I expected better of him.
Yes, Michael, it IS insulting. Think of the anti-gay slurs thrown at you as a man. You’re constantly being compared to a woman, no? And that wouldn’t be the case unless women were still considered to be less than. Stop the hero worship, take a step back, and walk in the shoes of your sisters for a while before you try to brush off our concerns as unimportant.
If I could rec this comment, I would1000 times.
There is still a helluva lot of misogyny perpetuated towards women, cis- and trans-, within our own movement. When language like this comes from one of our own heroes, it only serves to drive the divisions deeper.
It would take a lot for me to stop loving Dan, or wanting to serve with him. But the next time I see him, I’m going to call him on this. If I were one of his troops, and heard him make a comment like this, I’d wonder if he were as committed to my equality as a woman as he is to his own as a gay man.
I’m on page with youthe reality is Gay Inc GOT INVITED to the White House because of GetEqual (heckling and protesting) and Dan.
Without the angry left, the centrists in HRC, etc…, would not even have a seat at the table.
But that’s ok. I don’t have a problem with how it worked out, what I take issue with is this:
We saw how HRC ripped Alex Nicholson a new one. We don’t need the centrists profiting from the radicals (like WH invites) and then undermining them and marginalizing them.
Just ignore them in public and reap the rewards they deliver with quiet gratitude.
Completely agreeI was shocked, although not particularly surprised given the social acceptability of gender-based insults, to see that in print.
I’m sorry, he just proved himself to be a sexist a-hole, or at least an utterly self-absorbed a**. We wouldn’t put up with this language from any other gay rights leader, or even a right-wing GOPer for that matter. Why does he get a pass?
I’ve admired him before but this comment has me questioning. I suppose he learned that kind of language at Westpoint? Wonder what his fellow gay cadet, Katherine Miller, would have to say about it.
maybeMaybe they don’t want him to speak because he calls the leader of the Senate a pussy who will bleed next month.
I dunno, maybe not the most effective lobbying tool.
Thanks for the observation…
…but I hope you don’t mean to suggest that Alex qualifies as a “radical.”
Ah, we agree…
…words DO matter…and that’s why “misogyny” is the WRONG word, to which you’ve now hyperbolically added “hate speech.
If you’d said, “sexist,” I might have agreed but your self-appointed PC Gestapo and self-annointed mind reader routine is not building bridges, not enlightening Dan, or anyone else. It’s just erecting another wall fronted by a sign that reads, “Holier Than Thou.”
As a woman, I *experience* that comment as misogynyistic..So how many women have to weigh in before you stop telling us that YOU get to define how we experience things?
His comment equated being female and menstruating with cowardice and betrayal. If that isn’t “woman hating,” I’d like to know what is?
I’m pretty sure that Dan Choi can handle being told he screwed up. When you let hero-worship allow you to excuse stuff like that, you just help to perpetuate a culture where women are seen as defective (and, not coincidentally, where LGBT people are too).
My dear, Keori….
I have often written here and elsewhere that I understand that homophobia [and transphobia] is built upon sexism. Not for nothing that Elaine Donnelly second obsession to keeping gays of both genders out of the military is women of whatever orientation.
And I do understand that SOME women would be offended by what he said. As someone old enough to remember when “chick” was a “fighting word” that rightly disappeared out of social pressure in educated circles for a while, I’m still offended by just the term “chick flick”… but many women use it often, as many do any number of far more generally identifed gender-based epithets….e.g., the B-word, the C-word. What do you say to those women? [Which is not to imply the sins of any one excuse the sins of others.]
[And I won't waste my breath on trying to deconstruct here the legitimate difference between gender-specific epithets and gender-derogatory epithets.]
And, my friend, your “stop the hero worship” as if I’m incapable of seeing any flaws in Dan was uncalled for. I learned long ago no one is perfect, including myself. I could identify at least half a dozen things Dan said in this article or others that I disagree with, and I’ve discussed some of them with him directly. But out of a nearly 5000 word article, this is supposed to be our sole take away? It’s okay for a group of people who don’t know him, who don’t even have the integrity to sign THEIR real names, to publicly lynch him in a chorus line of kneejerk linguistic extremism, an orgy of self-righteous mindreading?
Again, the issue is not just HIS word choice but that of his self-appointed would-be executioners. “Sexism”? Perhaps. “Misogyny”? Absurd.
Nowhere did I suggest anyone had no right to “experience” it for THEMSELVES….
…I was responding to those who presume to define it for EVERYONE, all women and all men.
But you’re right, you don’t know what “woman hating” “IS,” only what it is to YOU.
Really great articleI admire Dan Choi in all his — sometimes contradictory –complexity. He’s not perfect. And that’s the point.
Wish the article had more details about what he likes to do in bed.
So tell me, Mr. Expert…What is woman-hating? Just so I’ll know next time–given that my pathetic little ladybrain is so confused…
By HRC standards, yes, he’s a radicalI watched him say “f you” to the President outside the White House lawn. It’s on video.
And Joe S got the vapors. Fortunately, his fainting couch was near.
Is it really so hard to just admitLt. Dan Choi may have made a bone-headed, thoughtless, insensitive comment that may have inadvertently been hurtful to women?
Dan could survive public acknowledgment of his mistake, by himself and his supporters.
We don’t need to defend him from his mistakes. It drives me personally crazy to see Obama’s supporters defending HIM on every boneheaded move he’s ever done.
We can be better than that.
I choose my words very carefully,and I meant “misogyny,” not “sexism.” I don’t need to read Dan Choi’s mind. I have his words, which tell us directly what he was thinking.
Choi chose to express his contempt for Harry Reid by calling him a slang term for female genitalia and giving Reid the exclusively feminine characteristic of menstruation. Choi’s attitude toward women is pretty clear when the worst thing he can think of to say about someone is that he is a woman. That’s not discrimination (sexism), that’s hatred (misogyny).
If Dan Choi’s statement about Harry Reid doesn’t really reflect how he feels about women, then he can and should apologize. Either way, he should be more careful about his choice of words in the future.
Not explicitly “f you” but, yep, and I’ve had it on leonardmatlovich.com ever since.
For 7 minutes and 16 seconds on May 2nd, in Lafayette Park, across the street from the White House, he spoke radically, by HRC standards, right before he introduced Dan for his remarks….and 8 days later, as Lobby Days commenced, he was back cooperating with HRC’s “Don’t Criticize Obama Too Much” Party Line, as he had for months; in fact, for those two days, don’t criticize Obama at all. And, that morning, choosing NOT to introduce Dan to the hundreds of gay vets before him as noted, and, more importantly, choosing not to return to Lafayette Park with them and say the SAME things he’d said those few days before.
I look forward to seeing him return to the May 2nd Edition.
You’re entitled to your opinion.
And this ladies and gentlemenis why we still have not achieved equality. Too bad we don’t have as involved discussions regarding the repeal of DADT. Our community is so divided amongst ourselves we will NEVER achieve equality. We get when we earn people.
I have met the enemy and the enemy is us.
+1I’m a woman and the hatefulness toward women from Bedwell & Choi is obvious. JanetO is 100% right about the linkage between homophobia and misogyny. It’s also clear that misogyny is the main demon that drives transphobia.
Straights do not get to tell LGBTQ people how to deal with homophobia/transphobia/queerphobia.
Whites do not get to tell people of color how to deal with racism.
Men do not get to tell women how to deal with misogyny.
Do I make myself clear?
So STFU, Michael Bedwell.
I don’t believe Choi is a misogynistany more than I believe my straight friends, who occasionally slip and use “gay” as a slur, are homophobes.
That said, I would have given him the benefit of the doubt if he had just called him a “pussy”. I used to use that term and I never meant it with a female connotation (in fact most guys start using it as an insult before they even know about that part of the female anatomy). I used it interchangeably with “wimp”. But then Dan made the “he’ll be bleeding once a month” comment, leaving no doubt that’s exactly what he meant.
Disappointing, but none of us are perfect and have all said things we regret when we’re angry.
I expect she’d say she’s heardway worse on a regular basis in the Armed Forces. Doesn’t make it right, but it is a reality.
We all have used gender-based insults at some point in our life, whether we like to admit it or not (including every gay rights leader, liberal Democrat and right-wing GOPer). The difference here is that it was caught on tape and it was especially offensive.
I think it would be wise for Choi to apologize for the remark and I hope people would accept it and move on. We’re not in a position right now to be further dividing our already small minority with infighting while we’re under assault.
+1We’re all going to have to set aside our disagreements for awhile and unite if we’re going to get anywhere.
What PC term would you hve chosen then?Want to play a little PC ad lib?
Hate to live in a world with so many walls.
StandardsI second Hypatia, JanetO, DesiArcy and Om Kalthoun.
Lets not be distracted by what Bedwell wants to label this statement- it doesn’t change the statement. I think we all know if some anti-repeal activist called Harry Reid a “fag with a bleeding anus” there would be hell to pay and it would be in bold CAPS.
Lets hold ourselves to the same standards we apply to others, because otherwise we are just like the others.
?We won’t get anywhere if we continue discrimination internally.
Instead of asking people to set aside “disagreements” how about we ask people to stop making sexist, mysogynistic statements. That is two wins rather than one.
–
“If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.”-Aboriginal activists group, Queensland, 1970s
But what about what he said?Just change out racist for sexist or homophobic. http://www.illdoctrine.com/200…
I agree with jhJD.It’s not an either/or world, & I doubt any mature person expects ANYONE, Choi, Obama, Reid, to be perfect or to do exactly what that person wants them to do. However, when someone makes a very real mistake by using language that is insulting to any group, that person should apologize. And if that language was used in a public forum, the apology should likewise be public.
To the best of my knowledge, I NEVER called anybody the “N” word, because even as a kid I knew how insulting it was. I’ve worked in many male-dominated jobs (including the military) & I know how easy it is to pick up & use words & phrases that are common to the group. It’s all too easy to unthinkingly use them, but that doesn’t make it right.
Dan Choi needs to apologize for his insult to women. He & many other men also need to really understand how insulting it is & train themselves to avoid using such language in the future, no matter how angry they are.
So does this mean Harry won’t be giving Dan back his ring?
AhemMichael, you have the right to say many things.
But you do NOT have the right to tell me how to feel, particularly how I should feel as a woman, when my being a woman was just attacked as it was.
You have been nothing but patronizing and condescending to the women in this thread. It is far past time for you to stop talking down to us, check your male privilege in the coat closet, and sit down and listen.
well stated
I’m sure there are other antiwar LGBT GIs, saliors, air crew and marines like him but our real hero is Private First Class Bradley Manning.
Manning, a young gay GI, has no desire to aid in the murder of civilians by the US and it’s satellite states in the raging campaigns of mass murder of civilians in Afghanistan and Pakistan or the genocidal invasions and occupations of Palestine and Iraq.
Just the opposite. Manning, currently in the brig at Quantico, is accused of providing the material for much of the Wikileaks project. He’s a real hero. And he needs our help
Don’t enlist. Don’t fight. Don’t translate.
—————————
If he hasn’t already, Choi should apologize, not to a prowar hustler like Reid, but to our communities. That language is inexcusable.
Dan’s Indefensible Comments in the VV InterviewKeori, Michael and others on this thread,
I called Dan sfter the VV article was published and told him what he said in the interview by calling Harry Reid a “pussy” who bleeds once a month, was indefensible and inexcuseable. I love Dan and have not found him to be aggressive toward women in inappropriate ways. I have not found him disrepectful of women in groups or one-on-one. But deep down inside, with all of our internalized homophobia and sexism, when we are vulnerable and aching, these ugly attitudes come spilling out. Dan has stumbled badly and has apologized for his ugly utterances on his twitter feed. His comments are not okay. I am not giving Dan a pass here. I have advised him to explore ways for him to show his deep regret for his hurtful words to lesbians and to all women. I know he regrets the words and will have to live with them for a very long time.
As Walt Whitman has written, “we are multitudes”–in all our glory and includes our ugliness too–especially revealing when it is published for all the world to read. We are complex people and for a person who grew up in a evangelical, patriarchal home and left it for the rigidity of West Point, part of an Army that does not especially honor women, I am in a way, not surprised by his comments. He has to grow up. We grow when the pain becomes intolerable. I think that is what is happening for Dan right now–as it should be under the circumstances.