“This insanity must stop and all school districts must commit to making school safe for LGBT students. It is inexcusable and unconscionable that bullying is tolerated in this day and age. Those responsible for allowing such tragedies to occur should be held responsible.”
– Wayne Besen, Truth Wins Out
September has been a hellish month for gay or gay-perceived teens this month. (TWO):
- Seth Walsh, the Bakersfield, CA 13-year-old who hanged himself from a tree in his back yard after years of being bullied, died Tuesday afternoon after nine days on life support. Police investigators interviewed some of the young people who taunted Seth the day he hanged himself. “Several of the kids that we talked to broke down into tears,” Police Chief Jeff Kermode said. “They had never expected an outcome such as this.”
- Asher Brown, 13, an eighth-grader killed himself last week. He shot himself in the head after enduring what his mother and stepfather say was constant harassment from four other students at Hamilton Middle School in the Cypress-Fairbanks Independent School District in Houston Texas. Brown, his family said, was “bullied to death” – picked on for his small size, his religion and because he did not wear designer clothes and shoes. Kids also accused him of being gay, some of them performing mock gay acts on him in his physical education class, his mother and stepfather said.
- Billy (William) Lucas, 15, a student at Greensburg Community High School in Greensburg, IN, was found dead in a barn at his grandmother’s home Thursday evening – he had hanged himself. Friends say that he had been tormented for years. “He was threatened to get beat up every day,” friend and classmate Nick Hughes said. “Sometimes in classes, kids would act like they were going to punch him and stuff and push him. Some people at school called him names,” Hughes said, saying most of those names questioned Lucas’ sexual orientation.
And we have one positive story — if you can call it that — of an 11-year-old boy who is standing up for himself after his arm was broken by bullies because he joined the cheerleading team at his school.
An Ohio mom is disappointed that her son’s school didn’t do more to stop at least two boys who allegedly picked on her 11-year-old cheerleader son until the bullies beat him so bad they broke his arm.
She says the beating didn’t break his spirit however. Tyler Wilson has vowed to continue cheering with hopes it helps him get into college some day.
“I’m going to keep going. I’m going to make a lifestyle out of it,” Tyler told ABC News affiliate WTVG.
Now as far as I know, cheerleading is one of the most demanding (and dangerous) things you can do – it’s not considered a sport, but it might as well be. And most competitive squads are co-ed. These ignorant bullies still have gender norm ideas about it, and its clear school administrators still don’t get it.
It’s disgusting that Focus on the Family portrays anti-bullying programs and laws as “promoting homosexuality to kids,” rather than tolerance and acceptance of difference. FOTF believes that to oppose such legislation depict Christians as bigots. Well, is there some other interpretation? When you’re talking about suicides, beatings and ill-informed school administrators, something has got to give.
***
Watch this video from Dan Savage’s series of first person videos to tell young LGBTs or victims of bullying that It Gets Better if you hang in there. This one is from the Members of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus:
Members of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus talk about their experiences growing up in high school and how life got better for them afterward. The video was inspired by the “It Gets Better” project started by Dan Savage in response to the anti-gay bullying and harassment that LGBT teenagers face at their schools, sometimes resulting in suicide. At the end of the video, the Chorus sings “Irish Blessing” in honor and memory of those who left us far too soon. Click here for the “It Gets Better” project. Look it up on Facebook as well.



48 Comments



Here’s my problem with the way this is being addressedboth here and in the policy world. There is no doubt that what we see happening here is tragic. However, kids get bullied everyday is every corner of the country for a MULTITUDE of reasons.
Many folks here seem to find it unacceptable that these kids are being harassed badly for not conforming to gender norms etc. But that presupposes that it would be ok for them to be bullied for other reasons. Why is there not a similar outcry against kids being bullied for being fat, or poor, or from a single parent family, or being too smart, or having a learning (or any sort of)disability. Kids get bullied horribly for those issues all of the time and they don’t have the benefit of professional activists rallying to their cause.
I wonder how many kids kill themselves for being bullied for other reasons and wh does that not get any attention?
Teachers, Principals answer to School Boards who are appointedor otherwise seated usually by a vairety of entities within their respective communities. These Board Members answer to those constituentcies. If it is in a conservative or religious community, then there is little hope for gay kids.
The ipitus will have to come from outside. Post all of the information about these Schools, Principals, Teachers, Boards in Gay forums for the most effective dissemination of information.
There MUST be National Anti-Bullying Laws, to include not only Policy, but affirmative Plans For Implimentation and Record Keeping as well.
Vote accordingly.
Oh and BTW – What a super Mom!
Are you Gay?
SciFi, I was fat AND gay in High School…And I got more shit for being gay than being fat. Seriously.
some infoSome interesting reading, at least for Californians. Worth noting that failure to comply with a duty under California law, the breach of which leads to some harm, is grounds for a torts lawsuit at the very least.
There’s more in the Ed. Code, but you get the point.
The slippery slope argument…I was bullied for at least three of those reasons that you mention.
And of course there was the case of the girl in Massachusetts that involved an Irish immigrant, I believe, and that wasn’t an anti-gay bullying situation.
I think I got more shit for being smart in school…well, at least in public schools. And that only lasted up until high school.
Pheobe Prince was her namehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D…
So I have to disagree with SciFi Geek because the various other reasons that kids are being bullied in schools are being addressed and they get enormous attention.
Geek get with the program.The whole goal and reason for anti-bullying education and campaigns presupposes that that no child should be bullied for ANY reason. Any questions?
Fat, poor, single parent, academically gifted/challenged ALL protectedShow me one anti-bullying bill, policy, whatever, that protects only LGBT kids and leaves the rest to twist in the wind. Go ahead. Stopwatch is running.
The North Carolina anti-bullying bill protects all the groups you cited, and more, and leaves the door open for additional protected classes or individuals. The focus is first and foremost on the bullying behavior that is unacceptable. But when the language gets down to naming groups, have a look:
The fights over these bills come up when communities have the audacity to include gender identity and/or sexual orientation in them. Because the bigots think it should still be cool to punch the fags and want to protect that kind of bullying.
You wrote:
1) Don’t you find it unacceptable that kids are assaulted and battered for not conforming to gender norms? You say “many folks here” but do not include yourself. How about it? Does it matter to you at all that queer kids are pushed to the brink, and tragically over it, on such a widespread and consistent basis?
2) Your statement [b] is a complete non-sequitur. FAIL.
But congratulations on stirring the pot once again and getting a few of us riled up enough to take a few minutes to drub you about the head and shoulders.
And we have another one.Tyler Clementi.
(((HUGS))) and much love, everyone.
You expect Geek to grasp a simple, obvious point?Be serious. The man is reality-challenged. His name isn’t SciFi Geek for nothing; he lives in a science fiction world.
Then again, look on the bright side: If Barack Obama was caught bullying a gay kid, our little Geeky-poo would be arguing that bullying is okay, and that the kids who get bullied deserve it.
I’m usually pretty good at staying all butch and stoic and like that.But this cascade of LGBT kids killing themselves is really getting to me. When I read about Seth Walsh earlier today, I broke down–first time it’s happened to me since Lawrence Kind was murdered a year and a half ago. And the worst of it is that we all know there’s more coming. And when we’ve got not just FRC and their kind actively promoting these deaths, and not just a president who can’t be bothered to make a public statement saying this is wrong, but members of our own community making hideously callous statements like the first one in the thread, I don’t know whether to cry more or let myself fly into a rage and smack the first creep I see.
I know, I know, that’s just more behavior like the stuff I’m condemning. But my pain and my anger are real, and they are legitimate, and they need to be vented. Somehow.
Where is our community’s rage? When will we march on congress and the goddmamned White House and the fucking right-wing churches and make the walls shake with our rage? It can’t happen soon enough for this old queer.
Who is to blameI’m 63 years old and every bully I’ve come across had a bully for a parent. The two bully’s in my grammar school each had a father who was a “mean drunk”. I know people who have bullies for kids and they all push the “macho” image on their kid and make fun of the “fairies” in front of them. I don’t know what can be done about it except starting to throw the parents in the clink.
thanks – describes my feelings tooI wanted first to say I hope this is the “reporting” phenomenon, where we are just more aware now than ever before, and it’s not an actual increase in suicides. Then I think how horrifying that would be also – that these criminal tragedies have been at least as widespread all along, but we just hadn’t put all the puzzle pieces together. Which is worse? For the kids who have made the last decision they will ever make, it doesn’t matter anymore.
Like many of us, I walked that tightrope in my teens. Only the chance friendship of another queer kid kept me sane enough to not act on my darkest thoughts.
We are all attacked and robbed when yet another wondrous light amongst us – not even fulfilled yet – has been snuffed out by another “Lord of the Flies” school environment. And by “wondrous light among us,” I mean all kids who are singled out for taunting, exclusion, and worse by the cool crowd.
Lawsuits people. Wrongful death. Criminal negligence. ACLU. Maybe the last thing these grieving parents can tolerate. But I know that when family and community pain aren’t enough, and firings and ruined professional and political careers and jury awards in the thousands paid from bullies’ parents’ retirement funds and from community coffers start adding up, remedies will finally be taken.
There’s Another.Tyler Clementi, a student in New Jersey, threw himself off a bridge over the Hudson River after two other students, Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei, used hidden cameras to broadcast him having sex with another man live on the internet.
Ravi & Wei face up to five years imprisonment each for breach of privacy.
Bullying isnt going to stopI was brutalised when i was in school. For being fat and short…by girls and boys. A guy actually slapped me for standing up to him. It still hurts till now that i went thru that. It never really goes away.
For all kids being bullied its a nightmare but a sad reality of that age group. We need to teach our kids to be open and safe. No amount of laws can stop bullying, we can make it a stronger offence but its not going anywhere. Bullying is one of the many failures of human nature, as we get older we just learn to suppress it or hide it better.
I thank God for Dan Savage’s campaign. Its going to go a long way to helping those LGBT kids and many other kids who are oppressed for one reason or another. I teach my daughter this everyday…bad situations dont go away you just have to believe there is good at the end of it.
God bless those poor victims of bullying. May He welcome you to His warm and loving embrace…Amen
A friend of mine wrote this on FaceBookSums it up for me:
” One guy gets harassed on his front porch in Cambridge and the President turns it into a “teachable moment.” How many more gay kids have to die before our Wimp-in-Chief decides it’s time for another one???
uselessyou are the most useless apologist POS Ive seen on any message board.
CORRECTyou called it right.
thats directed towards SciFiGeekdont want to confuse anyone.
eventuallyAnd don’t they understand that eventually one of these kids is gonna go COLUMBINE and take the bullies… as well as innocent bystanders… with them?!!??!
Not every LGBT kid is gonna aim at themselves.
So it is in ****EVERYONE’S**** BEST INTEREST TO STOP THIS SHIT!!!!!
yes: maybe we shouldn’t call it suicideWrongful death is a better term, and it is grounds to sue. I’m just wondering if some theory of criminal homicide or conspiracy might also fit, but wrongful death is the phrase to use. In a real sense, these kids did not kill themselves. And anyone with a hand in it, either by action or inaction, should pay.
Fiat justitia ruat coelum. Let justice be done, though the heavens fall.
another reason to sit hard on bullyingIntervention at the first report of trouble, before it gets worse. All of these cases, and the Nabozny and Flores cases, and the Lawrence King murder, had a very long and escalating chain of events, and could have been stopped. The school officials either sit on it, first thing, or the parents should sue, guardian ad litem for their kid, and make them stop it. It’s always a good day for an injunction.
And even in a state that has no statute on the books about bullying or LGBTQ kids: Jamie Nabozny and the Flores kids used 42 USC § 1983, a swell Federal statute for dealing with unequal treatment by state (school) officials, and that’s good in every state of the Union.
Fiat justitia ruat coelum.
I agree with anti-bullying laws in spiritBut these laws won’t mean crap if they are not enforced.
The middle schools and high schools I attended had anti-bullying signs in EVERY classroom and in the hallway.
At the same time, not every teacher enforced the anti-bullying law.
I will never forget one of my teachers, who was the wife of a preacher mind you, turned in a BUNCH of classmates for anti-gay bullying of my best friends. You’d never think the wife of a preacher (at least a Southern preacher….) would turn in kids for anti-gay bullying but she did.
Restraining ordersDon’t wait until kids are dead before going to court. If the school fails to respond to parents’ complaints and take effective action to stop the bullying, file for a restraining order against the bullies. Then the bullies likely have to find another school to attend to avoid violating it and going to jail.
I hate SeptemberSeptember — when the leaves change, the kids go back to school, and the bullying starts afresh. There seem to be more bullying-assisted suicides during the first couple of months of school than at other times of the year. Or is that just me?
No. It’s not just you. I see it too. This shit will stop when these kids are given the tools to stand up to these bullies-and not just platitudes. Don’t get me wrong-Dan Savage is doing these kids a huge service by letting ‘em know it gets better. But bullying will stop when the bullies get their asses kicked. And that goes for little bullies and BIG bullies.
Murder by Harassment?That might be a better name.
Defeatist and enablerA long time ago some guy commented that there will always be wars and rumours of wars. Does that mean we should give up working for peace and disband the UN?
Bullying may never completely go away, but the problem right now is that it is endemic and practiced openly with the passive acceptance and sometimes even active encouragement of school staff and administration. And your “Oh well, whatcha gonna do? Kids will be kids” attitude makes you an accomplice and enabler, too.
An adult who experiences even one tenth of the harassment in their work place has the right to sue their employer for not protecting them because we recognize that no one should have to work under those kinds of condition. Yet you would have us believe that it is pointless to even offer vulnerable children the same protections in their schools that they are compelled by law to attend.
And these days with the internet and social networks bullying is leveraged to make the effects more public and devastating. A couple of weeks ago a 16 year old girl attended an outdoor rave in a Vancouver suburb was brutally raped while a crowd of onlookers stood by and watched. [link] Some even videoed it. One teen uploaded it to Facebook to entertain the wider public. The RCMP and Facebook have been playing whack-a-mole taking down the video but it keeps popping again. For the rest for the girls life, graphic footage of her trauma with likely be floating around the internet, ready to retraumatize her again at any time.
Because of the victim’s age, the police have charged the original uploader with Producing and Distributing Child Pornography and have promised to do the same to anyone else who uploads it. When this punk gets convicted he gets to wear the tag of Registered Sex Offender and pedophile for the rest of his life (good luck on pursuing your dream career, kid.)
This is a harsher penalty than he could have received if the victim had been an adult. Similarly “workplace” harassment of vulnerable and defenseless children needs to carry stronger penalties than adult workplace harassment. And adults in the school system who neglect to fulfill their legal duty to protect children entrusted to their care need to face criminal charges, not just lawsuits.
It may never completely go away, but much can be done and must be done to reduce the amount and severity of the bullying that is happening today.
Don’t knock SF…There are plenty of authors who use SF in productive, socially- and politically-aware ways. Le Guin, Delany, Butler, Dick, Gibson…though, yes, there are always the obnoxious types among both authors and readers.
yes, yes, yesRemedies at trial don’t have to be limited to monetary damages. Anyone that can show imminent harm can get a temporary restraining order (which you can get right away and in a one-way (ex parte) proceeding), which can lead to a permanent injunction to make the school district not only help the victim, but to institute effective policies for future such problems. See either applicable state law, or, if nothing else, try 42 US Code § 1983, which will allow a victim to sue a district refusing to apply equal protection. Tell your attorney to see Nabozny and Flores for some guidance.
This is a good introductory reference –
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I…
ah but the reckoning will be bigger
If there WAS an anti-bullying law on the books, or, better yet, a provision (see, e.g., Cal. Education Code) that puts an affirmative duty on the school officials. It’s not just a nice thou-shalt, it’s something that can get them sued if someone gets hurt because the law required them to act, and they didn’t.
Those are the basic elements of a tort lawsuit: they (1) had a duty to act, (2) they breached that duty, which (3) was the causation of harm to someone for which the victim, now Plaintiff, can seek (4) remedies, to include monetary damages and an injunction.
And don’t limit it to whether a law is LGBT-specific: most states have generic anti-bullying laws. So be it, as no student should be bullied. And it’s simply a matter of the adults being in charge at school, not some “Lord of the Flies” cabal among the students.
Not that its relevant…but yes I am.
Its not really a slippery slope argument…its more of a argument against myopoia.
As i said, these same people that are so aghast that kids/young people get torments about breaking gender norms don’t have anything to say about people getting the same level of torment for other reasons.
The tragedy of this is NOT that a kid took his/her life for being percieved as LGBT, its that they, like other kids have to endure torment at all.
What bothers me is that kids that get harassed for other reasons don’t get nearly the same level of attention as the ones that get it for breaking gender norms.
Think about this….
given the level of body facism and out right hostility against fat people that exists in the gay community, how many heavy young people within this community do you think take their own lives because they are not accepted or are treated with disdain for being overweight? Do we even know the statistics on that? Has anyone bothered to look? We DO know that fat kids and teenagers often get treated horribly in this society and by school administrators, but their plight goes unnoticed and un commented on.
I actually AGREE with you….My point however, is this notion that kids that don’t fit gender norms are somehow unique in getting harassed, is total BS. Kids get bullied for LOTS of reasons and administrators disproportionally take the side of bullies regardless of the supposed reason of the bullying.
I DO have a problem with folks wihtin the LGBT community deciding that this is some sort of epidemic simply because percieved LGBT kids are getting targeted. Why don’t these same people have the same level of outrage when kids are getting harassed for other reasons?
But you liedFor one thing, there’s a lot of body fascism in the straight community as well in case you haven’t noticed.
Second of all, these other ways of being bullied are being addressed by gay people and in state legislature; I believe that Deval Patrick put a rush rush on getting the Massachusetts legislature to get a comprehensive bullying law which covered LGBT and non-LGBT students alike) after the Phoebe Prince suicide.
Given a couple of other example in this thread, you lied about that outright…or didn’t do your research.
Now I sense that your real beef here (only becuase I’ve heard you mention it many times before) is the body fasicism in the gay male community (not so sure if that hits lesbians to much)…
(And can we call the body fascism in the gay male community “bullying?)
but again it’s not as if a person has to be gay to go through that in this society (especially straight women; again, I am not sure how much of a problem this is in the lesbian community).
Since when is school bullying…an issue requiring a response from the Oval Office?
Not everything that happens in this society requires direct intervention from the President.
This certainly does not rise to the level of a national crisis requiring intervention by the federal government.
That “One guy” getting harassed “on his porch” (or more accurately getting arrested in his own home)…was a friend of the President, and he was asked to comment on his friend getting arrested (as if black men being harassed and arrested by white cops not a problem in this country).
More importantly, you’ll recall that the President took alot of flack for intervening in what was essentially a local matter.
Not everything that happens in the US rises to the level of presidential involvement.
But the President himself saidthat he would feel free to comment on local issues.
And after the suicides last year of Jaheem Herrera and Carl Walker-Hoover, Sec. of Education Arne Duncan did say a little somethin’-somethin’ about that.
4 teen suicides in a week due to anti-gay bullying (never mind what teenagres are already going through trying to figure what this “being gay”) really is all about….that’s not deserving of some mention by Duncan or The Fierce Advocate?
Negro, please.
In President Obama’s own wordsat ~4:05
But of course SciFi Geekdoesn’t feel as if homophobia, teen suicide, and the connections of the 2 are a “troubling aspect of society” (to quote the President)especially as he is homophobic himself.
I said I was going to bring this particular news conf. back up and this particular thing about the president getting involved in selected local issues.
And bullyimg and LGBT teen suicide is NOT a local issue.
How many kids do you think commit suicide…In a week in this country on a regular basis?
Is this only objectionable because its due to anti-gay bullying? Do you spend nearly as much time worried about the kids that get bullied for other reasons and commit suicide.
No, this does not rise to the level of Presidential intervention. If Arne Duncan wants to say something or more appropriately, Kevin Jennings want to say something…more power to them.
But this is not a Presidential priority.
Of course, not SciFi Geek
After all, I was subjected to a helluva lot of bullying, and very little of it was anti-gay.
In fact, I really feel that more often than not bullying is due to a combination of factor and all of those factors need to be addressed.
But…I repeat, 4 teen suicides in one week due to anti-gay bullying.
But…then again, Oscar Grant wasn’t worth the President’s time either (wrong economic class of black man).
Should President Obama give a prime time address from the Oval Office about this?
Of course not.
Should a reporter ask the President or Burton a question about this at a news conference? Yes. And I would expect a thoughtful answer.
Isn’t there anti-bullying legislation in Congress that the Fierce Advocate could throw is weight behind? sue (but we know he won’t do that).
And the being gay is only part of, take your internalized homophobia and go somewhere, dude.
Jesus.I’m not knocking SF, I’m knocking Geek. That point isn’t exactly subtle; how could you have missed it? I love SF, and in fact my own first published fiction was SF (in Damon Knight’s old Orbit series). Buy a clue.
Congratualtions, Geek.You’ve managed to find a way to defend Obama still again, even in the face of his unconscionable silence on this issue. Rahm will be highly pleased; he may even slip a little bonus into your next paycheck. Or do you report to Axelrod?
payrolltsk, I thought they’d taken you off the payroll.
anti-bullying policies……mean nothing. Another way for to school officials to dodge responsibility, pretending “it’s not a problem here.” Ending the denial is the first step. If the response is, “Yes, bullying is a serious problem,” that school is more likely to be working on real solutions.
It must be clear and unambiguous (in actions taken, not merely an official document resting in a file drawer someplace) that bullying is never tolerated. One positive approach is: encourage students to surround their peers and defend them from attacks. Most are afraid of being targeted themselves.
Kids repeatedly bullied notice it’s not happening to their peers (not as often or relentlessly) and wonder whether it’s their own fault; they feel ashamed and are less likely to talk about it. Perhaps they remain quiet because so often–when parents or schools intervene–their approach is all wrong, and it makes things worse. They learn, ultimately, not to seek help: because none can be found. Often this despair stays with them for the rest of their lives.
Even now I find it difficult not to regard every person as a likely threat (I’m 45). Everyone wonders why I never lived up to my potential, why I always settled for less…
On a city train I saw a 10 y/o boy–he dressed and wore his hair somewhat differently than his classmates–being teased and poked, over and over (by all the boys, and many of the girls).
I spoke with the teacher: beginning with safe, mundane topics. Then I asked what’s being done by her school about bullying. It never happens, she told me, because they have a tough policy.
“One of your students is being bullied, right now,” I told her. She seemed shocked. I refused to identify him. And pleaded with her to strive for a safer environment for all the kids.
I didn’t want him to be singled out. (Recalling the ineffectual responses, when I’d sought protection from teachers, counselors or administrators. Or being told, “You bring it on yourself, by not being like the other boys.”)
Before approaching the teacher, I talked with the kid, briefly. Not wanting to attract too much attention, I waited for a lull in the taunting, so I could be heard without raising my voice.
“I know it seems really bad, right now. But it will stop. Then they won’t be able to hurt you.”
Wondering what I’d have wanted to hear–at his age–I imagine I’d probably have wished I could disappear.
Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. No matter what words I chose, the clearest message may have been: it won’t ever stop hurting.
Sorry, tone didn’t come through in text –I was being a bit tongue-in-cheek there.
Not sure if this is a bullying caseBut another young gay man has committed suicide.
But of course, according to a homophobe like Geek, this does not warrant considerable attention by this President’s administration; if not the Fierce Advocate himself.