It’s not what you think, but it made you look twice, huh?

I received a Facebook email invitation to be one of this year’s celebrity “corrupt” judges at the annual Beaver Queen Pageant in Durham’s Duke Park, one of the in-town neighborhoods in the Bull City. What is this oddball, newsworthy shindig?

It is a family friendly Beaver Drag fundraising event that encourages play, honors diversity, is a mix of burlesque, cabaret and cartoon that attracts over 600 beaver lovers. This year’s pageant has been dubbed the Wild, Wild Wetlands to honor the beavers who helped with the expansion of the American West.

Another year has flowed by the pond and it’s time to pick a new Beaver Queen! Who will rule over The Wild, Wild Wetlands? Come to the Beaver Queen Pageant this June 5 at North Duke Park on Acadia Street in Durham and find out. Pre-show fun starts at 4pm and the Big Event begins at 5pm! Admission is FREE.

As you might have noticed there’s a lot of Beaver wordplay going on, as you’ll see in this lineup of 2009 contestants:

Beave Whisperer – a world-renowned beaver behavior specialist, known for his uncanny ability to wrangle large lodges of beavers.

Beaverella – In a universe of “Peace, Love, and Beaver,” where there is no war and therefore no weapons, I am the instrument of all: Peace, Love, and Beaver.

Bupkiss Beaver – “You are my chosen beaver. You must deliver my message, and liberate Ellerbe Creek’s beavers.”

Dirty Beaver – believes that no beaver is an island… as sometimes, it takes a village to clean a beaver.

Durga Beaver – The gods realized that all of their pitiful erections were doomed to fail without the guidance and support of the beaver. So they put their heads together again and prayed for the Queen Beaver to manifest and bless them. Their humility, intention and fervent prayer for help woke the goddess Durga from her thousand year slumber and she donned her beaver tail and descended to the dam demon infested world once again to defeat the evil forces and return the whole dam world to peace and harmony.

HRM Elizabeaver – succeeded to the throne upon the death of her sister, Queen “Bloody Beaver” Mary, and has created through her reign a time of great peace, love, and flourishing beavers. HRM Elizabeaver has come across the pond to compete in the Beaver Queen Pageant in order to continue her protection of wetlands and the promotion of the glory of beavers.

Money raised at the Beaver Queen Pageant supports the Ellerbe Creek Watershed Association. The goal is to raise $8000 for the ECWA, so my job, in order to become a corrupt judge, is to raise or contribute $250 so that I can boost my beaver profile and experience V.I.B (Very Important Beaver) Treatment — I can’t imagine what my 2 after party tickets will gain me entry into! They have a PayPal page up. If you do donate, make sure that you note it’s for the most corrupt beaver judge in the Bull City, Pam Spaulding.

On Facebook: Beaver Lodge Local 1504