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I mean really, now — how sad must one’s life have to be to make comments like these re: my coverage of the HRC Carolinas Dinner…
North Carolina is the pits. Jesse Helms, Mike Nifong, John Edwards… and Durham is the pits of the pits. Something like, third worst murder rate in the state? No more articles on North Carolina.
POSTED BY: JT | FEB 28, 2010 1:30:39 PMPam Spaulding is as useless and self-serving as Joe Solmonese. She is as much to blame for the sorry state of our civil rights movement as anyone at HRC. Her hypocrisy and lies aimed at anyone who questioned Obama’s veracity before the primary election (you know, when it mattered) will not be forgotten.
POSTED BY: GAYLIB | FEB 28, 2010 2:58:59 PMBelieve me, Gaylib, Spaulding was only there for the buffet.
POSTED BY: JT | FEB 28, 2010 7:31:36 PMLMAO!!!!! HA HA HA HA…
POSTED BY: TANK | FEB 28, 2010 7:34:58 PM
These were harvested from Towleroad, btw, but you can find dung like this all over. Some of Andy’s readers have an ax to grind with me for some reason. I see this sort of sentiment on occasion at other gay blogs and it irks me not because I have a thin skin — trust me, I’ve been called worse.
The problem for me is that I’m friendly with most of these bloggers and they are with me as well; we often collaborate on actions on behalf of the equality movement, share tips, etc. I fail to understand what motivates this hostility in the comments.
Let’s just say I don’t want to see that kind of crap in comments here at PHB; if you have a criticism of someone’s post or perspective (even when it comes to movement leaders, btw), I have to believe that Blenders can find an intelligent, reality-based way of analyzing and communicating your sentiments than what you see above. And it has nothing to do with clamping down expression or making it impossible to hold anyone accountable for what they put out there.
For every self-satisfying toss-off, how many calls do you think these commenters (JT, GAYLIB and TANK) made to their representatives about pro-LGBT legislation? How many even know who their state rep and senator are or visited with them? Even here, I see a fair amount of griping and moaning about the past — as if we can change it — and less strategy on how to stop a repeat failure or to actually achieve a sorely-needed victory.
The reason I bring this topic up is that on a regular basis I receive criticism for statements I’ve never made, positions I’ve never taken and insults or name-calling that are non-existent on my part. Where does it come from? The Blend comments.
For whatever reason, people looking for an easy way to discredit an essay or post of mine (or another barista) usually burrow into the comments to find “proof” of some malevolent hoohah, even if it’s not anything anyone above the fold has said. I find it a bizarre phenomenon that some readers can’t distinguish between a post and comments, but it happens so often that I have to believe people just see what they want to see.
Anyway, I’m just asking to pick up the discourse a bit and help with the problem-solving since we have a lot of work to collectively do ahead, given we have an administration running down the clock, a complex, often thorny relationship between the netroots and our “gatekeeper” organizations, and a well-organized right-wing Dominionist network of barely-tethered-to-reality folks who should not be able to scare our pols, but yet they are.
I know we have a lot of smart, politically aware Blenders here and we need all the brainpower we can get. Save your fire for deserving targets (also, no matter which side they are on). By all means hold me accountable, hold leaders accountable, but try to make your case in a way that is specific, fact-based and productive.
We put ourselves out here to take barbs, threats and all sorts of crap without the cover of anonymity, and at least on my part as a labor of love and desire for equality, certainly not to make a living off of it — or belly up to a non-existent buffet, lol. They don’t feed the journalists (at least not me) at these functions.
33 Comments
Well said as always, PamSorry you have to deal with garbage like this.
jon
I’ve learned a lot hereSorry you have to put up with the ridiculous comments you cited, but glad you seem to be able to put them in the proper perspective.
Thank YouVery well put.
Taking things out of context to discredit someoneis the kind of crap we’ve come to expect from the bigots. You deserve much better than that from our own community.
Tank …He’s Towleroad’s top racist since John in Boston has left.
It goes with the territory, I’m afraidThat doesn’t make it any more just. But that’s not so important.
What is important is that it’s unhelpful, and factually wrong.
Ok, it’s important (or should be), but I know you’ve had to deal with far worse, so don’t get bugged by it. You still shouldn’t have to put up with this crap, not you, someone who’s done far more for GLB and even yes T than any of the commentariat from the peanut-gallery.
Totally uncalled forPam,
Don’t let ignorant people bring you down. Unfortunately, as you probably know better than me, even some of those whom you are trying to help have a way of being ugly and counterproductive. It’s best to remember those who respect you and who will always owe you a debt of gratitude for the work you have done – such as little ole me ;p
As I said, I’m not fretting personallyIt’s more a curiosity about why commenters have this hostility out there directed at blogs they either read or their favorite blogger quotes based on zero factual information. At least show you have a semblance of intelligence. I expect that from the fundies, but the Freeper-like commentary is pretty sad when it’s directed towards folks on their side of equality.
Breathe…and let the bullshit evaporate. Then, if there’s anything worth defending after that, go to it. If not, let it go. You do a good job, and you have support. There will always be people out there with more issues than National Geographic. Don’t let them put their shit in your bucket.
~G
Thier axe to grind with you is that you are a prominent Lesbianand it isn’t just Andy’s that does that; you see it on almost any “G” blog when a story by or about a Lesbian appears.
Amongst a certain loud fringe of our brothers, a certain misogyny is dectable…..usually in bold letters.
Misogyny and all the shit that goes with itFat-hating, slut-shaming, and a freeflow of epithets. It makes one wonder if these men really did choose to be gay simply because they mindlessly hate women so much.
well said PamAs you know, a pet peeve of mine is unfounded accusations or unproductive derailments that poison what otherwise could be productive diaries. A good dose of that happens in the comments here at the Blend, unfortunately. I hope your call to “try to make your case in a way that is specific, fact-based and productive” will be reflected upon and heeded.
No sh*t, Keori….Misogyny is all over the gay male community, unfortunately. Oh, and I get the fat-hating shit too, Pam. Those people aren’t worthy enough to carry your computer. You’re awesome.
And not ALL gay men are misogynist..Just wanted to put that out there, y’all. It’s just that there are times when some of our brothers say some things that are rather hurtful towards women in general. And yeah, lesbians say stuff that’s hateful towards men, too. Neither extreme is useful or right. We all must hang together, or we shall all hang separately, as a wise man once put it.
You’re blackAnd some (not all, by any stretch of the imagination, not even close) of those in the gay community attracted to the “Obama is betraying us” meme aren’t doing so out of real concerns of political homophobia, but rather out of deep-seated racism and resentment of having a black man raised “above them”.
That’s what the dog whistle of “she didn’t hate him before the election” is about.
Right onI have many gay friends who aren’t misogynist, but yes, this kind of stuff seems to be more prevalent when men spend all their time communicating with men, and similarly, when women spend all their time communicating with women. But at the end of the day, all of us, gay, lesbian, bi, trans, intersex, queer, questioning, other, are all in this together.
That wise man you quoted also said:
UghI’m only 18, yet I think I can safely say I will never understand why people have to be jerks to each other for, well, no good reason. Can people simply not grasp the fact that this is the reason people are hateful to each other, and thus we now have the problems we do?
Think about it, if everyone was nice to people, even to the people they happened to not like… What would be the cause to go against anyone then?
Oh right, because people are jerks whom apparently have nothing better to do with their time then to loll about, putting any other group that they feel like down.
Life never stops being exactly like high school, dose it?
“Where does it come from? The Blend comments.”Clearly, they’ve learned well from Michelle Malkin. That’s her m.o.
addendumI looked at the Towelroad comments and noticed one that made a salient point – albeit a bit too snarkily (particularly about N.C. itself):
Yes, people wo are already famous can be ‘damned if they do, damned if they don’t’ upon actually coming out – and there’s no infallible timetable o’ legitimacy for folks who, like Meredith, not only come out really late but actually come to terms with their sexuality late as well (a clear difference between her and, say, Richard Chamberlain.)
But this person has a point about ‘new gay flavor’ equalling legitimacy.
Remember MMOW? What was George Michael’s ‘qualification’ to be the co-headliner?
- Being officially a closet case despite being perhaps the most obviously-gay entertainer of the previous two decades (or ever – even moreso than Liberace.)
- An arrest for toilet trolling.
- Only then grudgingly coming out.
another great example to follow and who I’d like to talk on my behalf
Not!
Clay?
The time frame is compressed a bit and there’s no arrest for toilet trolling, but the principle is the same.
Sadly not newWhen I got involved with “the movement” for the first time in the late 1970s all this sexist (and racist) crap among my fellow gay men was a big problem. It’s kind of depressing to see it come back in the blogworld. I guess I thought the consciousness of the community had matured a bit more than it has; maybe that was a naive assumption. As for fat-hatred, it’s shockingly universal, and I’ve even gotten it from commenters here.
I’m 42, and I still don’t understandI will qualify your statement, though, and say that I will never understand why SOME people have to be jerks to each other, for ANY reason. (Is there a good reason to be a jerk?)
I wonder how many of the negative comments mentioned by Pam were actually written by people who came here, made racist, sexist, transphobic, homophobic or other bigoted comments, and got properly slapped down because of it. I’ve seen similar vitriol aimed at the Wikipedia: policies designed to maintain fairness and a neutral point of view suddenly become highly slanted when it disallows white supremacists from editing articles to reflect Stormfront’s doctrines in a favorable light, or keeps Talibangelicals from using Paul Cameron’s fantasies as references that support bigoted views.
OutPam, I sympathize. I’ve been out in the world as a queer author for decades and where I see the viciousness is in reviews, which can hurt much more than blog comments because they can affect sales while spreading misinformation. Gay or straight, reviewers sometimes get major things wrong, claim you write things you didn’t, take you out of context. And then the lies are in print and widely read. And some of the nastiest reviews I’ve gotten have been from queer reviewers.
The Blend means a great deal to you; my books ditto to me.
Taking the crap is part of being out, and I’d suggest you ignore it, not even read it. Don’t let the poison even get a chance of seeping in.
And some of this IS racism…If I recall correctly, you never endorsed Obama in the primary, Pam.
Neither did Rod McCollum.
(But Andy Towle, John Aravosis, Dan Savage, and Andrew Sullivan did…so where is the criticism for them on Gay Lib’s charge?)
And you spoke out against the sexism that hit Hillary Clinton
I catch it all the time, Pamand I am hardly any type of public face for the movement.
http://www.queerty.com/if-sean…
http://www.queerty.com/recentl…
Now I point out racism when I see it, then posters want to jump on me for protecting black homophobes.
Then the black homophobic hordes at huff post and other places aren’t any better.
So, I can’t win for losing…and I’m a little nobody commenter.
Plenty of us were skeptical/critical of Obama before the election (myself included)and I can’t remember Pam ever berating and/or blocking any of us for it. Pam has always fostered a free exchange of ideas here, even ideas she disagrees with.
That really sucksI’m so sorry you are dealing with such horsesh!t Pam. And I have to agree with the comment about misogeny being rampant in the gay (male) community. I suspect that I get little of it on my blog (miniscule though it may be compared with yours!) because blogging is still thought of as the realm of white men, as is the foreign service, so if I am a foreign service blogger, I must be a white gay man (wrong on all counts!).
You are beautiful inside and out.
Another nasty commentLook at ng1260.blogspot.com.
I think that’s user NGhttp://www.pamshouseblend.com/…
What an a-hole.
OK, one part of that criticism may be legitimate to askI don’t agree with it but it’s legit to ask the question…
1) Gay Lib’s criticism at towleroad is not legit; Pam has the archives to prove that.
2) wondermann is an Obamabot troll that I have had my own encounters with in the blogosphere and I have little or no tolerance for him. And besides, Pam is not as hard on HRC as it seems and she has blo
3) The disability comments are way out of bounds.
4) The legit criticism (or question, to be more precise) is…is Pam an “A-List Gay?” And exactly what does
Hmph. The gay blogosphere is getting to be a regular ol’ bar of catty people. Which has a limited amount of charm to it.
Very limited.
No I didn’t endorse ObamaI purposely didn’t endorse because I wanter to view all the candidates through the same prism. My goal was to have whoever was the GOP nominee fall to defeat. If it had been Clinton in the general, I would have heartily endorsed.
NG loves fact-free criticismHe has had an axe to grind for some time, and he’s clearly a damaged individual filled with a lot of hate. I don’t know why he continues reading the Blend if it enrages him so much. He doesn’t have to like me, but he certainly doesn’t have to toss around flat-out lies easily disproven.
If only I had all of the A-level access and ability to party hard with all the big A-listers. I rarely get to go to any of them (unless invited to live blog or I’m receiving an award), since I live in NC.
And as far as him not giving a flying fig about my disabilities or anyone else’s again — why is he reading about any of this? PHB was and is a place I still use as a personal sounding board, thus the posts about pit bulls or health matters, neither of which are related to LGBT issues. If no one comments on it, then that’s how it rolls.
But to see someone so twisted up in anger rather than doing anything productive to move our rights forward says more about his character than anything else. It’s sad.
Well, I guessyou’re supposed to be judged by a greater standard because, you know, Obama is one of “your people.” (LOL!)
With him, it’s the same ole songblah blah blah, you all did me wrong. NG is the quintessential bitter old man.