Team USA Hockey GM Brian Burke is a grieving father. He lost his son Brendan just a few weeks ago in a car accident.

Brendan Burke, 21, and a friend, Mark Reedy, died in a two-vehicle accident on a snowy road in Indiana. They had visited Michigan State’s law school and were en route to Miami University of Ohio, where Burke was the student manager of the hockey team.

One commitment that Brian made was to publicly advocate for gay rights. His son was gay. (Sports Illustrated)

A few days after Brendan came out to his father, in late December 2007, Brian told him, “You know the best part? I don’t have to take anything back.” Burke says he never told his children there was anything wrong with homosexuality. But when he really rummages through his memory, he concedes there are smudges on his otherwise clean conscience. When he played in the American Hockey League in the late 1970s-he was a stay-at-home defenseman whose skills fast-tracked him to Harvard Law School-he spoke in the lingua franca of the locker room. “Yeah, I used those slurs,” he says. “I’m embarrassed by it. It was an accepted part of the [hockey] culture, and it still is. But not on my teams. It’s a big part of trash talking, and that’s got to change.”

After Brendan publicly revealed his sexual preference, Brian was flooded with requests to do advocacy work on behalf of gays. He told the groups that while he supported his son, he had other causes: land conservation, blood donation and children’s literacy. He didn’t want to dilute that work. This, too, changed on that Friday in February. Brendan’s causes are Brian’s now. He will do a public-service announcement aimed at eliminating the bullying of gay children. And he plans to march in the Toronto Pride Parade. “I’d promised him I would march with him,” says Burke, who briefly left the Olympics last Friday to attend a memorial service for Brendan at Miami of Ohio. “He won’t be there, but I will.”

An interesting follow up is this sports piece, “Does Brian Burke’s gay son change anything for hockey culture?” As you might imagine, the macho world of hockey would need something more earth shattering to strip homophobia from its ranks.

Not only has this been buzz-worthy because it reignites one of the hottest of hot-button issues in professional sports (homosexuals in the locker room), but because it instantly transformed Burke, that steadfast promoter of truculence and testosterone, into a de facto gay icon. Brendan Burke has become hockey’s Mary Cheney of the moment, though both child and parent are treating this public outing with much less political parsing than Dick Cheney did in an election year.

…Has Brendan Burke helped drag professional hockey from its close-minded, closeted traditions regarding gay players with his story? Or is this just a personal choice and a compelling narrative without political impact? (To that end, we recommend Big League Screw’s “it’s a personal choice” essay on gay athletes coming out.)

There’s an interview with Justin Bourne, a  columnist who wrote a piece on gay slurs in hockey for USA Today.

One facet of this that made me uncomfortable is the assumption of what being a gay man means intrinsically. By that I mean: Brian Burke is known for brutal, physical hockey, and hey, he has a gay son. Doesn’t the story live or die on the stereotypical ”femininity” associated with gay men, juxtaposed with Burke’s reputation and that of hockey?

Yeah, you nailed it.  But that’s what makes this story so valuable. 

A guy (Brian) who blatantly frightens people and seems to have the Grinch’s heart in the “before” picture is okay with having a gay son, seemingly without hesitation.  About 40-50 years ago, guys a “manly” as Brian Burke are the exact reason gay men were uncomfortable coming out.  The culture towards them was vicious and hateful — I think this shows that things are changing, acceptance is possible. 

If you’re a gay player today, and Brian freaking Burke is cool with it, how much farther does that go than if some polite, out-of-the-spotlight guy is the one “marching arm in arm” with his son on this?  I say a whole bunch.

What do you all think?

Hat tip to Towleroad for pointing to the Sports Illustrated article.