It’s Thanksgiving week, so I’d like to express my thanks to Pam and for Pam– the African-American Lesbian and Head Barista here who embraces the wide diversity within the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community.
So, why point out she’s an African-American lesbian? Well, the reason I’m thinking about this is my friend Zoe Brain (ZoeB) provided a link to blog site article by a blogger who identifies this way:
Rolling stone black lesbian separatist with Southern roots. I hate males of all ages, colors, and sizes.If you have a problem with American black women, have the decency not to sully the comment threads on our posts. If you think American black women are oppressing you, as a western nonblack woman, there are more things wrong with you than I would ever be able to address in a blog post. So, just don’t even bother. Thanks.
Well, with that much love oozing from the About page, you know she’s going to feel-the-love regarding trans women… right?
Enh, not so much. This self-identified black American lesbian separatist blogger, who blogs for AROOO (A Room Of Our Own), seems to actually be an individual black woman working to oppress those whom she sees as oppressibly trans. In her piece No Such Thing As A Transsexual:
If there are so many males who “just want to change their body,” without regard to gender, then why are they calling themselves “women” after they’ve had themselves chopped up? A mutilated male is a mutilated male. As I’ve said before, if males just want to hack off their penises and shove plastic bags under their pecs, how about they call themselves eunuchs instead of “women,” “transwomen,” and “transsexuals”? How about calling themselves males who wanted to chop off their penises and have it fashioned into a hole?
Well, super! I feel the love, for sure!
Of course there’s more:
[More hateraid and thankfulness below the fold.]
I get so sick of seeing women defend the “transwomen” they know in real life with reminders that not all “transwomen” want to wear dresses and pantyhose. OK, fine, they don’t want to wear dresses. What does that have to do with the fact that they’re still walking around calling themselves all manner of “woman”?That is the crazy part. That is what makes them insane. One cannot change sex, and any indulgence of the, yes, insane, notion that they can is anti-female. I don’t give a damn what eunuchs wear or don’t wear. All I care about is whether or not society is actually obliging them in any way by calling them women. They are not women, insofar as ‘woman’ means adult human female, and they never will be.
Hmm. I don’t feel insane.
But to really get the flavor of the hateraid, you need to read the comment thread. Some examples (blue text is from the article’s author):
• You mean we didn’t get a cookie and/or a pat on the head before kneeling down to suck dick on transgender remembrance day!How about murdered women’s day? Oh yeah, that’s everyday.
• Exactly. If women weren’t hated and oppressed, “feminized,” and were instead just seen as human beings (though still female — don’t want anyone thinking I’m down with that woman-hating-everybody-should-be-a-tranny “tacqueaux” bullshit), male trannies wouldn’t get erections at the thought of belonging to a submissive class, and female people wouldn’t have any reason to scramble out it.
• Pure fetishism ___, But, then, as soon as you get into the details of all this insanity, you’ve got women running to their defense screaming about how the “transwomen” they know don’t even like wearing bras and pantyhose. I simply cannot understand the scramble to find that ONE tranny out of a million who’s somehow not a raging misogynist who believes butchering a male gets you a female.
Any male calling himself any kind of female is misogyny, period. And just because a woman knows and loves one of these misogynists in real life doesn’t mean it’s not woman-hating.
• “Any male calling himself any kind of female is misogyny, period”
And any women calling herself some form of male is equally misogynistic.
Both somethings the “gay and lesbian community” ignorantly refuse to see.
So, with AROOO‘s take on trans women tacqueaux in mind, I’m reminded today how grateful and thankful I am for Pam, since as a lesbian she ignorantly refuses to see trans people as lesser beings; I’m thankful Pam isn’t a hateraid drinker when it comes down to the broad, diverse, LGBT community.
I’ve seen too much hate to want to hate, myself, and every time I see it, I say to myself, hate is too great a burden to bear. Somehow we must be able to stand up against our most bitter opponents and say: “We shall match your capacity to inflict suffering by our capacity to endure suffering. We will meet your physical force with soul force. Do to us what you will and we will still love you…. But be assured that we’ll wear you down by our capacity to suffer, and one day we will win our freedom. We will not only win freedom for ourselves; we will appeal to your heart and conscience that we will win you in the process, and our victory will be a double victory.
In all seriousness, embracing diversity is important. We accomplish more when we work as a broad community together on issues for which we have commonalities of interest. Intra-community hate helps no one improve lives or rid the world of discrimination…
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
The contrast between the AROOO blogger and Pam is pretty stark. I have heartfelt thanks for the virtual coffeehouse space Pam has created — So, and thank you Pam. You’re a personal reminder that we can’t judge whole communities by an awful member or two; or we can better judge a community by its most wonderful aspirations and its diversity embracing members.
Well, I know I choose to be optimistic and thankful, and this week my thankfulness goes in Pam’s direction.
So are you, dear blenders, also thankful for Pam? Or thankful for anything else this week? Take a moment to tell us about what you’re thankful for!
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50 Comments


Clearly…she just hasn’t found the right trannie yet.
Yes I am thankfulI was a reader long before I became a member. One thing that keeps me coming back is that people are treated equally here. Not just Pam, but all the baristas deserve my thanks.
Sounds like the haterade drinkers need to go worship at the fount of Janice Raymond.
Thank you, Pam and Autumn!I just can’t fathom hatred of others. Every argument that AROOO uses against transfolk could be easily used against lesbians or women in general with just a little wordsmithing.
“I get so sick of seeing women defend the “transwomen” they know in real life with reminders that not all “transwomen” want to wear dresses and pantyhose.”
Could be:
“I get so sick of seeing women defend the “lesbians” they know in real life with reminders that not all “lesbians” hate men.”
There is no difference in these statements. The internet is wonderful in that it allows intolerant bigots of every persuasion to spout their bile. It also allows Pam and Autumn to spread the love, though.
Wow, just wow!But I suppose that since she’s a black woman, I’m supposed to be more understanding of this. I suppose that we need to educate her more…do more outreach…the whole nine yards.
Spare me…
And yes, I am grateful for Pam and for Autumn. Now I may be a slow learner when it comes to trans issues but I am willing to learn.
This is an extremely enlightened place…I’ve encountered few (read zero) people in life who operate on such an even keel as Pam and most all of the baristas here.
With all the crap that gets dumped on GLBT folks every day (and Pam probably sees 10 times more than I do), it is hard not to fall into some kind of ignorant behavior of our own (I’m guilty) from time to time — partly that’s just being human and a response to a world that, largely, treats us like shit to be scraped from the bottom of its shoe. Nobody is perfect, but I have very much respect for the staff here and my feeble attempts to imitate their levelheadedness have made me a much better person — and more pleasant to be around.
So, I’m also quite thankful for The House Blend.
Posted the following comment on her page…I wanted to immortalize it, since she seems bound and determined to scrub her comments of dissent:
I see you’ve deleted everyone that doesn’t agree with you. So I’ll make this brief.
I am a homosexual, cissexual male. I am white. I am middle class. I am telling you all of this to give you every opportunity to dismiss what I say as lies, or a product of my sociological background.
Your desire to snipe at a group from the safety of your own website, without leaving room for debate is pathological. In this world, there are people who desire to attack, beat, and silence anything they don’t understand or agree with. I have encountered these people in every avenue of my life, and meeting them is always a shock. I have met many transsexuals in my time, and your desire to rob them of their identity and their sense of self is cruel. You are not doing this because you are righteous, you are doing this because you want to hurt them.
Why, I do not know and won’t venture to say.
My name is Garland Grey. A simple web search will turn up my website, my on-line presence, and myriad ways to contact me. If you would like to discuss this, I would be open to doing so, in the spirit of calm understanding. But if you’ll forgive a parting snipe, bring your A game. I am far too intelligent for your tired, Community College rhetoric.
Best Wishes,
Garland Grey
Hey!Who you calling “level-headed”?!!?
Are you kidding?Oh YEAH, I appreciate and am very thankful for Pam- as well as you, my sister Wonder Twin Lurleen, Daimeon, T, Alvin, Russ, and Julien.
As well as the Blenders, too many to numerate or name.
And a huge, heaping cup of THANKFUL for Pam’s wonderful wife Kate. Omigosh.
We’ve all become a pretty close bunch who genuinely care about each other and share ourselves honestly, because of Pam and Kate…
A virtual toast to you both, ladies!
Thanks for a place of refuge.Living in one of the more LBGT “friendly environments” has granted me the experience to recognize that to many of the LBG, we are definitely a lower case “t” here. There are a loft of lesbian and gay fundamentalists out there that are generally more denigrating of the T spectrum than many ultra-fundamentalist Christians. Let’s face it, puritanism is deadly – no matter what the driving philosophy is.
I am thankful for the fact that there is a place where I can post and read the posts from a wide diversity of opinions. This has helped me to see that be we representative of the L, B, G, T, Q or I, we are share some very uncomfortable and demeaning common experiences. I am of course talking about discrimination, threats and acts of violence, dehumanization, radical exclusionism, denial of basic human right, and the denial to formally love the person of our choice.
Thankefully, that does not apply here.
Joanie
Goo griefReads like a right wing parody of feminism, black nationalism, and gay activism. Maybe he/she is just trolling.
She doesn’t just delete…She edits, substituting her own words for yours. Make a post there condemning racism, and by the time she’s finished changing it, “you” will be confessing to membership of the KKK.
She’s taken to posting videos……or should I say, the same video, over and over again, since a young Transwoman sent her a cease and desist letter. She mocked her, of course, making sure not to miss a chance to denigrate her gender in most cruel fashion. But she stopped altering people’s comments to fit her own agenda.
My goal for 2010 is to stop letting these ignorant people get to me. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Amen!My last gf had no complaints about what I did with her in the bedroom! In fact she was writhing so much, she bonked her head a few times on the vertical file cabinet!
She was my second, and she was experienced with both and said I was better than all of them. Sadly we had to break up ’cause I was in Ohio, and she lived in Quebec.
I too am thankful!I’m very glad to have this forum Autumn and the rest of the Baristas have set up for us.
Here’s what I posted on the blog in question. It’s interesting that their vile drivel has been all against MtFs, and I’ve yet to see any mention of our FtM brothers…
I would like to remind you that if it wasn’t for a bunch of bull dykes (who most likely were FtMs (I haven’t you heard you attack tham yet!), and two transwomen by the name of Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P Johnson, there wouldn’t have been a Stonewall Riot in 1969!
If you’re going to poo-poo the 163 known transwomen and one straight male who were murdered over the past year, you’d best prey some bigot with a shotgun doesn’t try to blow you away, or stab you 10, 20, 30 or 40 times because you refused his advances, or mistook you for a transwoman because of the way you dressed!
Go ahead and ignore the thousands of years of evidence of the existence of transsexuality. I’ll go to the reicht and spew their “evidence” all you need is a good man to turn you straight and ignore the thousands of years of the existence of lesbianism…
Separatism does no one any good! I’m just as much of a female AND a dyed-in-the-wool dyke as the rest of you! Are you any less of a woman and a lesbian if you’ve had to undergo a hysterectomy?
am I bothered?………No She is just another rabid second waver, she is not worth bothering about. Just leave her to finger her Janice Raymond book of ignorance.
Most contemporary feminists see it our way not hers! so the future already belongs to us.
I am very grateful for Pam and for Pam’s House BlendPam leaves in me awe.
And Pam’s House Blend is vital stop for me in my daily routine. It is committed to offering a variety of voices and viewpoints, whether by guest bloggers or by commenters. I learn a lot here.
As for the other blog which Autumn mentioned, the hosts there have a right to their opinion and they have a right to a safe space to post it. I disagree with much of what I read there, but I am thankful that the web exists so all voices can be heard.
Thanks to Pam and the Baristas….and their understanding partnersWe blog whores (myself included) need understanding partners.
Kate Snooky, and others, have an extra piece of pie on me.
happy holidays
To faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross-dressers, too!
[Maureen]
To me!
[Markl]
To me!
[Boy]
To me!
[All]
To you, and you, and you, you, and you!
To people living with, living with, living with,
Not dying from disease!
Let He Among Us Without Sin
Be The First To Condemn
La Vie Boheme
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…
Now *this* is nice!Margaret Jameson, the second waver who runs this blog (and is African-American!), is now calling Pam “Mammy”!
Grrrrrrrrrr….. what a f*ing @$*($&$%#!!$$%$#%#@@!
Oh, I see what this is about…Well, she wants attention. She’s getting it. I predict she will post increasingly inflammatory material in the weeks to come, to get the attention of a woman who does more for queers when she is sick, jet-lagged, stretched too thin, and tired than Madge does on her BEST day.
I’d say she’s a disgrace to the LGBT community, but really, I’m not too proud to be a human right now. Unless she thinks men aren’t human.
Love every single one of you.
muah
answer…it’s PAM…..Ms Spaulding if you’re NASTY
They’ve likely never had this much attention……and they’re wallowing in it.
Enh, they get their 15 minutes of fame — or should we say infammy. After thanksgiving, no one will remember ‘em.
But it is a reminder to us all: It’s not just conservative “Christians” who hate LGBT people. We have haters in our backyard — Pick a letter in the L, G, B, & T community, and there are those in the LGBT subcommunities that hate others in other LGBT subcommunities.
This time it’s lesbian separatists hating on trans people; however, I’ve also seen trans people hate on gays and lesbians. And, I’m sure bisexuals can tell you about being hated on by L, G, & T people.
When we all get that we’re all in this together…well, to quote MLK Jr.:
(Hmm. Maybe we should rewrite the quote to say: “All tacqueaux are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality.” — Hee-hee!)
Ms. JamesonWere you ever a recipient of a Paul Monette/Roger Horowitz endowment?
Were you among international women Salon honored?
Were you voted the 8th change maker in America in politics?
Were you a winner of a weblog award…or even nominated?
Were you invited on panels of women bloggers, or Black and Brown bloggers?
Were you in OUT magazine top 100?
Yeah, I didn’t think so.
living well is the BEST revenge
No, it’s been like that for yearsAnd I can give you six more just like it.
It’s not even the worst. This one must come close to that – the proprietor has attempted to get IRS audits on couples with one partner trans for example. It’s not just talk, they take action.
These are the people who dominate the conversation about trans inclusion in MichFest.
One shouldn’t forget the redoubtable M.Andrea.
But enough. It’s only when they stray from merely spouting their hatred and take action that I care about them. Then ignoring them is dangerous. Remember, Raymond did no harm with “The Transsexual Empire” – it was her report to the Carter Administration that was responsible for the many thousands who died because of withdrawal of health services.
Thanks PHBI read that article in AROOO, and clearly, as a transsexual I found it revolting. And really, I have nothing good to say about that article or the comments.
However, the point of this thread is a hip-hip-hooray for PHB! Whereas I may not enjoy constantly being reminded that there is a full-on war on for equality, I do enjoy the flavor in which it is presented. I have never come to PHB and left feeling less than what I was worth.
Thanks PHB!!!!
Best spoof of second waversI just love the idea of the blogger being a member of the 2nd wave feminist Borg
http://transgriot.blogspot.com…
Where is the Mammy comment?Wow. That’s just sad. What on earth is going on in this woman’s life that makes her so nasty? Pitiful. If she’s going to go for the jugular, she needs to make a graphic to go with it so I can enshrine it in my “endorsements.”
Oh, it’s therethat’s a really vile racist and sexist stereotype.
The thread has turned into a hate “Mammy Pam” thread, actually.
I mean, don’t people remember that you’re from Brooklyn, for pete’s sake?
I would have no credibbility with that groupas a European Lesbian in America.
But…that said I will still say that bigotry in the face of a science that tells us that there is a neurological basis for gender dysphoria and then expressing that bigoted ignorance is such an overt manner is only a step away from the rape gangs in South Africa that go around trying to convert Lesbians.
As a feminist, I am appalled by these women’s vile thoughts.
As a Lesbian, I am embarrassed that the kind of ignorance that the Right pours out upon us is being poured by some of our own onto others
As a human being, I am sickened at the denigration of fellow humans
Agreed. They are neither representative Lesbians or feministsThey are just haters, as loathesome and destructive as the men in South Africa who preach that the way to cure Lesbianism is to send men out to rape the women so that they can experience “real” men
Yes, ladies, you are that vile, that hateful, that potentially destructive, that ignorant and that wrong.
And I am a Lesbian and a Feminist, an author of articles on the subject.
And I say that you are as bad as these men.
Thanks PeteyYou are precious to me, brother.
Margaret Jamesonis evil.
Period.
She is no longer the oppressed, she is now the oppressor.
She became what she beheld, a phenomena condemned even by Mary Daly in Amazon Grace.
Curious, though, I once read an article, second wave separatist in tone, written by a Margaret Jameson who was a middle aged caucasian blonde in her picture. Do you suppose that someone trans-ed something other than gender?
Somehow I managedTo be both a radical feminist and not fall for bullshit sexist tropes like gender essentialism.
I really hate these idiots even before I knew I was trans, yes, that’s right, radical feminist trans woman, and I was actually even more of an extremist back when I thought I was a dude. I just blew their narrow minds right there.
Facile understanding of patriarchy and complete fail for not understanding that separating men and women into distinct and distant populations that can never be resolved is just the old sexist trope of “men are from mars, women are from venus” and is responsible for excusing most of the sexism for the last couple of hundred years at the least. Dumbasses.
Jamison…mis spelledI read her and her pussy posse of 3 posters…and was unimpressed.
I think it be a hillarious mocking of AROOOThe L-word diagram of each woman’s ex’s…and it’s a sad little triangle of three women.
I knew and respected many of the feminist wave who created Womyn’s SpacesAnd chose to live seperate from men as much as possible in their lives.
Ms Jamison would embarrass them, and she isn’t fit to buckle their Birkenstocks.
Kind of Like Harry JacksonThe oppressed has become the oppressor. Because they feel entitled to do it based on their own hateful world view.
I think there are two different dynamicsOne is our fighting amongst each other IN HOUSE, which we excell at, nobody fights with more fury than we can with each other.
Then there are those who become the mouth pieces of the Majority, and are merely a Black face, or a woman’s face, or an Asian’s face, or a Lesbian or Gay face spewing the hate straight Male White faces would be trounced as BIGOTS for saying.
Harry Jackson, Michelle Malkin, Phyliss Schlafely, Ken Mehlman are all in this catagory.
Somewhat hilariously…Today is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. Which makes the “complaint” that there’s a Transgender Day of Remembrance but not a day to remember cis women who have been murdered, sound as ludicrous and hollow as it actually is.
Let’s remember all women who are victims of violence. Including the ones we just memorialized last week.
Love and peace.
Katie
BTW, Petey…As my tag says, I have a radio show on the internets every Thursday, and one of the songs I’ve played is Heather Small’s “Proud”.
“Mammy Pam”These are from the blog’s two owners. I’m assuming “Big Daddy” is supposed to be me.
mammy garbage is clearly leaving nothing to the imaginationNow it’s perfectly clear that they cannot be taken seriously. That stuff is juvenile and ignorant; I can’t believe that they would debase themselves in that way. The flat out stupid anti-trans garbage undermines any credibility anyway. The haters will always be out there, regardless of color.
maggieLay down by your dish
http://www.pawsitiveperfection…
you ain’t so mucking fuch
http://static.squidoo.com/resi…
I read the anti-man anti-trans stuff to indicatethat she has been jilted by a woman who left her for a man, and/or a woman who came out as trans, and/or is closet trans herself, and/or been raped by a man. Either way, it’s an unfortunate public display of hurt and insecurity turned outward as anger. Let her rant in peace – she should be left alone with her pain until she can get a handle on it and move forward with her life.
she could just as likely bea drunk old dyke, with a foul mouth.
Sadly this is a more likely answer.Old, bitter people fighting their old, bitter fights.
thanks Maura and MarleneI do like my tunes
You might send this out to Margaret
http://www.myvideo.de/watch/32…
the Pussy Cat Song
How do I fit inbeing an activist dyke for my first 20 years of dyke-hood, who figured out that seperatism cured nothing except the need to deal with a traumatic past (thrust upon me by a male AND a female) who figures out that after 44 eyars, I am a guy? How do I fit in to their narrow minds?
More importantly, why the fuck should I care?
I wasjilted by a woman for a man. I was a woman who came out as trans. I have been raped by a man (well, and a woman, if you count my mom (we’ve reconciled since she took responsibility for what she did)). And yet somehow, I came to understand, from the time I was a babydyke, that equality meant EVERYONE. That hating entire swaths of humanity was more than I could bare.
But yes, let her rant in peace for she is obviously too happy to stay in her victimhood. She wears it like a fine leather coat, unwilling to give it up for if she doesn’t have her hatred, what is left? She is too scared to find out.
I am thankful to not be held by such hatred any longer.
You have survived a lotand still ended up sane. I hope some people who might be hurting will read your story and know that there is hope.
I did some research on Ms. JamisonI thought you’d enjoy this:
Don’t call me ya sista
This blog exists to detail male crimes against women.
White ignorance and “giving thanks”
I wanted to ask her ignorant racist Irish ass if she were having potato’s and corned beef, but I don’t return ignorance… I thought it though, and refused to submit myself to her foolery.
http://soulsistasoulja.wordpre…
WOMANIST MUSINGS
Friday, February 13, 2009
Radical Feminism
this is a quote of Margaret Jamison email“We have a difference of opinion. That doesn’t make me a bitch. But your calling me a bitch – and every other radical feminist too – does say something about your character, I’m afraid.”
……………………..
Womanist Musings Author’s Response
”We don’t have a “difference of opinion”….I don’t believe in using polite terminology to describe what separates us. Of course only a radical feminist could understand her pain and her suffering…hooo fucking hoo. Yes I called you a bitch, and I stand by it. Bitch, fucking bitch, and you know what for full measure bitch again. Was I clear enough? BITCH.”
http://www.womanist-musings.co…
Thumbs up to Womanist Musings