When I realized that my selfish decision for love could result into some young girl getting killed, I could not be easy with that part. I couldn’t be held responsible for telling them, ‘Go back.’ Even if Chris never hit me again, who’s to say that their boyfriend won’t? Who’s to say they won’t kill these girls?

~Rihanna, in Good Morning America interview

Chris lost a lot of fans after he assaulted Rihanna. And after that whole scandal, he’s not exactly kid-friendly.

~An Anonymous Executive commenting on poor ticket sales Jive Records is seeing since Chris Brown’s now infamous assault of Rihanna

Yesterday, I spent a lot of time at the San Diego Veterans Administration (VA) Medical Center  between two appointments. So, I bought copies of Friday’s  Los Angeles Times and the San Diego Union-Tribune. In the LA Times there was one entitled Rihanna hears a ‘wake-up call’, and in the U-T there was a piece entitled Fans not showing much appreciation for Brown.

So for those who have been following the story, musical performers Chris Brown and Rihanna were boyfriend and girlfriend last February when Rihanna ended up beaten, and Chris Brown was arrested for assault. On Friday evening, Rihanna interviewed with Diane Sawyer on 20/20, with a preview on Good Morning America.

Rolling Stone reported the following in their piece Rihanna: Chris Brown Had “No Soul in His Eyes” During Assault:

[More, including the Good Morning America interview segment, below the fold.]

Rihanna confirmed that the couple’s argument was sparked by a text message another woman sent to Brown. “I caught him in a lie and he wouldn’t tell the truth. I wouldn’t drop it. I couldn’t take that he kept lying to me and he couldn’t take that I wouldn’t drop it,” Rihanna said. “So it escalated into him being violent towards me and… it was ugly.”

Brown repeatedly punched Rihanna while still operating the vehicle. “That’s all I kept thinking the whole time. When’s it going to stop, when’s it going to stop? He had no soul in his eyes, just blank. He was clearly blacked out. There was no person when I looked to him,” Rihanna said. “I was bleeding, I was swelling in my face.”

Chris Brown told MTV “I maintain my position that all of the details should remain a private matter between [Rihanna and me].”

Yeah, I bet he wishes she didn’t talk about it.

Los Angeles Times Pop Music Critic Ann Powers commented on how Rihanna left Chris Brown more because she realizes she’s a roll model to young girls than because of her own self-preservation:

…Rihanna made the right choice, for herself and for those fans about whom she cares so deeply, when she walked away from Brown. She’s making more good decisions now, managing her return to the spotlight with dignity and that icy poise for which she’s famous.

But isn’t it telling she is spinning her own self-preservation as a move to save other women’s lives? Many pop stars shun the mantle of role model; here is a 21-year-old, often accused in the media of being a cipher for her producers and management team, who is not only stepping up to that responsibility, but also making it the reason she should nurture herself.

Admirable. Disturbing. Do we want our entertainers to feel our needs so acutely? The feminist in me applauds Rihanna for going on a major network program and telling young women to firmly resist the lure of a dangerous love, to learn to separate themselves from the myths of romance that, in fact, pop songs so often reinforce.

But another part of me wonders why she’s telling us she had to step outside herself to take this stand. Rihanna uses words like “embarrassing” and Humiliating” — words of shame, not of pain or helplessness — to describe how Brown’s assault made her feel. She may say something very different to her family and other intimates. But what we see is a young woman who’s finding her greatest strength by remember that others are always watching her…

When one thinks about abused parents leaving situations of domestic abuse because of their children, one certainly can understand that leaving a domestic abuse situation for the benefit of others may get one out of a bad relationship, but getting out of a bad relationship then still has the secondary effect of self-preservation as well.

Oddly, I understand the idea that one can behave in a particular way when one becomes aware others are watching one. I personally understand it from the way that Pam, Louise, Lurleen, Alvin and I are followed on the web, and understand politically, we have conservative and progressive critics. Even more personally, the way I express details about my trans experience and behave in the public square is critiqued by trans-identified and non-trans-identified voices alike. I pay attention to what trans people write about what I write; I understand that when I screw up, I will — I have — had many people point out my mistakes. The best any of us can do is own up to our mistakes, apologize, and move forward.

By the way, Chris Brown’s image and ability to make a living as a pop musician is apparently toast, and he’s now having a hard time selling tickets to his upcoming tour. The U-T reports:

Brown is attempting a comeback with his “Fan Appreciation” tour, but he hasn’t had much luck filling small venues.

The gigs — which start Nov. 14 at the House of Blues in Houston — aren’t even close to sold out. Concert goers can still purchase up to 50 tickets at a time for opening night.

I can definitely see where opening up about domestic abuse starts necessary dialog; where villanizing convicted domestic abusers would provide societal good. A young trans woman I’ve mentored for three years recently left a same-gender domestic violence situation within the last few months, so domestic violence is something I think about a lot these days. I think villanizing the abuser of my “mentee” is very appropriate.

~~~~~

Further reading:

* Los Angeles Times: Rihanna says she left Chris Brown to set an example for other domestic violence victims

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