UPDATE: Thanks to Blender Jon, who linked to video of the piece. I’m on around 2:05; there is a lengthy part with Cleve Jones.

Boy, was this one weird day. I left my cell phone home this AM by mistake today. I never do this, even though I’m not really a person who’s tied to it like a Crackberry. I figured, oh, so what, I won’t need it anyway.

I was jamming along working on a database at the office when an email came in from a CNN producer for Anderson Cooper 360. I don’t usually hear from broadcast media much aside from radio. She wanted to speak with me about my thoughts regarding the President and the HRC dinner and the march, LGBT rights, etc.

I emailed her that I couldn’t make long-distance phone calls at work, so she’d have to call me when I took a break (to eat my lunch, an apple – yummy Fuji from Washington State, Lurleen). So the phone rang not long thereafter and we ran through a set of questions you’d expect, then as we’re about to wrap up she asks me if I can do an on-camera interview. Ugh. See, the reason I’m not on the air much is because of the logistics. In Durham the only two places that I know have satellite uplinks are WTVD, which is not far from my office but doesn’t allow CNN to use them for whatever reason, and I think the university has the capability as well, but I don’t know how using that unit’s services works.

Anyway, the only two appearances I’ve done for CNN required driving to the other side of Raleigh to a studio that is at least 30 miles away and the traffic is bad at that time of day. So she said she’d look into it to do something around 4-4:30. I figured that this was the nail in the coffin. She’ll never find a way to do this.

More absurdity below the fold.

 

Well, I head on to our annual staff meeting which was just starting. I sat down and was enjoying the festivities, which included some retirements, speechifying, awards and such. Around 3:30 I had to take a restroom break and went briefly back to my office to find out if she actually did anything. There was a voicemail and an email saying she found a stringer crew that was coming at 4PM!

Panic city. No makeup on today, nothing…naked face of horror. I went back to the meeting and sat since I had some time to continue watching the festivities. I finally excused myself and went down and there was no one there. I went to my office and the phone was ringing. The CNN producer said they couldn’t film in the courtyard of the building so it would have to be done elsewhere. So I go out on the street corner and see a man standing on the corner; he’s the stringer doing the audio. We go over to the van and the video guy is in the driver’s seat. They decide to go several blocks away to shoot in Trinity Park. The door shuts and I am kidnapped, no ID, no wallet, nothing. LOLOLOL.

We get to the park, it’s too noisy, with lots of kids playing. So across the street, where it is quiet, is the audio man’s home. We set up there and the interview was to be done on his front porch.

OK, I thought the studio live by satellite experience was weird, but this one was to be taped for editing and broadcast later, and was even more distracting. I’m not sure if this is behind-the-scenes spoilers, but most of you are probably aware that interviews like this can be so artificially staged, but it works because of skilled editors who make the magic happen.

So I’m wired up for sound, the screens beside me to bounce and diffuse the light are fine, and I’m trying to remember to do the whole smile thing and all the media training tricks, but it was hard to concentrate because the CNN reporter, Randi Kaye, is going to ask me questions from a cell speakerphone held by the audio dude who is sitting in a chair across from me “playing Randi”, as in sitting in position as I would be speaking to her directly. I’m sure die hard experts at these things are thinking “so what”, but well, it’s a highly unnatural environment to have what is supposed to come off as a casual situation.

You’ll have to tell me if it went well. I really don’t want to watch. Radio is so much easier. Anyway, they finished, then did some additional footage to cut into the interview (shots of me on a laptop, walking with a laptop — I borrowed the audio guy’s enormous brand-new iBook).

Then the camera man packed up, and I was back in the vehicle and ejected back into my building’s courtyard. It was surreal. I went back upstairs and caught the last bit of the annual meeting as it was breaking up. I went back to my desk and worked for a while, trying to figure out just what had happened in the last 45 minutes. Like being beamed up by aliens and waking up thinking 30 seconds passed and it had been hours. Or something like that.

The thing I mentioned about “if” my segment airs is due to the fact that the camera man had to get the footage all the way to Raleigh to uplink to CNN. The problem is, when I looked at the route he had to take from the overpass when I was crossing it to go home, the Durham Freeway was at a standstill. I hope he got off and took another route to Raleigh.

Anyway, that was the bizarre route to my CNN appearance.