Love how this cretin does “product placement” by spitting his tobacco juice into a Pepsi bottle. This video is only 2 minutes of your life that you’ll want back.

H/t, Jesus’ General

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Speaking of Jesus’ General, he wrote the NYT’s David Brooks about the real, true, noble America — you know, like the manly heterosexualist Robert Melia and his unusual  leisure activity with young calves and his pecker.

For many years, livestock love traditionalists were forced to live closeted lives lest they become objects of ridicule and laughter. But your work of turning rural life into a sacred calling changed all that. People of substance began praising livestock love. Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern offered it as an acceptable alternative to the sin of homosexuality. Compelled childbirth advocate Neal Horsley spoke lovingly about his relationship with a mule. Sen. John Cornyn painted us a picture of turtle tapping. Even the First Lady, Laura Bush, regaled us with tales of the President’s attempts at stallion milking.

Now, a judge has ruled it to be legal. It came in a case against Robert Melia, a Moorestown, Pennsylvania cop. His fellow officers had found videos of him, offering up his little policeman to hungry calves. Burlington County Superior Court Judge James J. Morley ruled that the calves were more likely puzzled than harmed.