It’s educational to feature a contrast between two people, both struggling with their sexual orientation and ending up with polar opposite results in their quests. The stories of exorcism victim “Jeffrey” and San Diego-based gospel singer Tonex are worlds apart in terms of self-acceptance.
“Jeffrey to Tyra: “I’m healed”
Talk about unbalanced coverage about something that needs in-depth discussion. A few months ago there was a YouTuibe that made its way around the internets that showed a Connecticut teenager being put through a fundamentalist exorcism to rid him of “homosexual demons.” In a “whatever happened to” moment, Tyra Banks featured the young man, who claims the Holy Spirit cast out that demon and that he is now an “ex-gay.” (Rod 2.0):
“Jeffrey” tells Tyra: “I am healed by the power and authority of the Holy Spirit that came into me that day .. and removed the unclean spirit from me. Because I do not want to live the homosexual lifestyle. I have nothing against them if they want to live that way but they have a choice to serve … the Lord.”The teen says that he has been struggling” with his “sexuality since [he] was five years old” and adds that in his teens he began to “cross-dress” and wear women’s clothing. The teen also defends Patricia McKinney, the self-proclaimed “prophet” and pastor of Manifested Glory Ministries in Bridgeport, and explains the convulsions and vomiting seen on tape: “That is the unclean spirit moving … out of our body. It tends to shake and move in ways that are not natural.”
The boy appears unsure of himself and coached. He is also concealing his identity and wearing a “beard”. (It probably won’t be the last time, either.) Why did the parents allow the minor to appear on national television?
Good question. This is so sad. And the fact that there is no competent mental health professional to counter the “ex-gay” meme being spouted here is unconscionable.
It is, however, important to expose how fear of ostracism within one’s faith community for minority gays is so powerful. It’s common for many to go back into a padlocked closet than risk social rejection. After all, a black man is not a man, unless he is heterosexual and with a woman. The bible-beating goes on and on, so I’m not surprised at all by this young man’s decision to say he’s cured. Of course some may see this as “curing” works, but all I see is a sad case of a teen whose high-profile exorcism in an oppressive church left him with no other decision in his mind but to comply. But that’s just my 2 cents.
Rod also reports that the teen, after the exorcism, went to a LGBT-affirming church, but then returned under the thumb of Manifest Glory, the family’s church. They were pleased with the results of the exorcism. This is so sick.
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In the world of black gospel, you won’t find any closet doors kicking open, but you know the genre is full of talented brothers and sisters who are padlocked in tight professionally. One did make the decision to come out strongly in support of his own identity and for LGBT rights. Tonex sat down with Darian Aaron of Darian Out Loud to tell his story.
Gospel Artist Tonex Opens Up About Sexuality
Stellar Award winner and Grammy nominated gospel recording artist Tonex has dealt with rumors regarding his sexuality for almost his entire career. The son of the late Rev. Dr. Anthony Williams and a minister himself, the accusations of homosexuality have been an enormous threat to his livelihood, ministry, and future as a respected leader in the black faith community in his native San Diego, California.
In 2007 with the release of The Naked Truth and the infamous YouTube video (that has since been pulled) where Tonex’s use of profanity and secular posturing shocked gospel music fans; it seemed inside this talented singer was a ticking time bomb ready to explode. In that video Tonex emphatically denied being gay, but that was two years ago.
In a recent interview with The Lexi Show produced by The Word Network, Tonex’ boldly opens the closet door in a way that I could never imagine anyone else in the gospel music industry having the courage to do. As a childhood victim of molestation, Tonex’ refuses to blame his same-sex attraction on this experience like many of his colleagues who “struggle” with homosexuality (i.e. Donnie McClurkin) and corrects the interviewer when she attempts to frame the discussion in this way.
“It wasn’t a struggle. And then people like to blame the struggle on molestation. No. Just say you were attracted to men and be honest and quit blaming it on that experience”, says Tonex’.
On homophobia in the black church: “The church has completely faggotized everybody who’s gay, sends them to hell over the pulpit and the church literally screams hooray and are happy about that. And yet, we celebrate the pastor who has a clean record and a clean look, but yet he is still doing the same thing that the same gender loving people are doing. I believe that there’s holy ghost- filled fire baptized gay people.”
Darian’s exclusive interview with Tonex is below the fold.Thanks, Darian, for letting us share this with Blenders. This is essential work. He told me “I believe his story has the ability to empower the black LGBT community or anyone who identifies as LGBT and is struggling to reconcile their sexuality with their faith.” Yes, indeed.
Recording Artist Tonex’ Addresses His Critics, Coming Out, & The Hypocrisy of the Black ChurchRecording artist Tonex’ shocked the world and the gospel music industry two weeks ago when he revealed that he was indeed a same gender loving man. After years of speculation and controversy he confirmed his same-sex attraction making him the first and perhaps the last person in the black gospel music industry to do so.
Was it career suicide? Well the answer may depend on who you’re talking to and over the past couple of weeks it’s been almost impossible in Christian & black gay circles not to have some sort of opinion on Tonex”. But what does Tonex’ himself think about the fallout from his decision to disclose his sexuality, his personal journey towards truth & freedom, and the hypocrisy and homophobia in the black church?
Loldarian.com sat down with Tonex’ earlier this week in his native San Diego, California and got answers to all of these questions and more. Watch parts one through three of four (part 4 forthcoming) below.
Many thanks to Tonex’, Tim Dillinger, and Tramaine Renee’ for making this happen.




Gospel Artist Tonex Opens Up About Sexuality
26 Comments


It is sad that social pressure would keep so many people in the closet, men and womenWhat is worse, the attitude of “I’m not gay” even when men are having sex with men makes it very difficult to reach them about risks, safer sex practices and STD testing. One of the fastest growing groups of people with HIV is straight Black women, and people like Jeffrey are the prime reason why.
I am very glad that Tonex had chosen to embrace the way God made him. It will definitely cost him professionally, but the personal and spiritual benefits will be worth it. I applaud his courage and his faith.
And Pam, thank you for putting these two stories together.
I meant to say, “One of the fasting growing groups IN THE US…” n/t
I feel sorry for that lost boy.Having come from a background where your family is everything, it is extremely difficult to go against them and survive. This young man will have to find some inner strength in order to grow into his authentic self. It’s going to be even harder for him since he has been brainwashed by the religion, but he may even get to see that he can keep that at MCC if he needs it.
Video of the full Tyra showHere’s a link.
After the 16-y/o was interviewed, Tyra brought on a staffer from True Colors, the Connecticut org which serves sexual minority youth and families. The staffer knew and had worked with the kid.
To her credit, she refused to be on camera with the youth, noting that he remains a child who should not be manipulated and exploited on national TV.
Check out the whole thing… the 7-minute version doesn’t begin to capture the full show.
I’ve seen this ex-gay stuff more since I’ve been in LA than MNNot only does the gay person buy into this fiction, the entire faith community buy into their ability to FIX the gay. They fall over themselves with this FIXING, and believe they cured him. Once they have him fixed he is welcomed like the prodical son, they want him to date their daughters, they want to give him a job.
All the detest is gone if he is what they want him to be, then he’ll get caught backsliding, and he loses all the attention, and is just another fag.
Lord, leave it to Media Take Outfor posting shady pics with shady comments. Even though some of them are funny.
Speaking of which…the most offensive part of the whole Tonex thing was this hoot of a quote
http://rodonline.typepad.com/r…
As far as “Jeffrey” is concerned, I said what I had to say when this broke yesterday and…it’s just sad.
prodigal….ooops
not a sissy bone in his body…..wasn’t true last night
Something maybe kev or other African Americans can explainDo the AA churches have the stress on fixing lesbians they have on fixing gay men?
I’ve read things concerning the shortage of good Black men for single Black women, and even sharing a man was proposed. The high incarceration rate for Black men, takes those men out of the consideration of men Black women would marry. I know regularly all churches discount lesbians and what women do in general, but is this heightened in AA churches because of the shortage.
Just when I think I live in the 21st CenturyI hear something like this again. It is absolutely insane. Do any of the so-called “ex-gay” leaders really give a damn that they are messing with a kid’s self-esteem and his life? He is barely old enough to drive. Do they care what they are doing to him? This person who refers to herself as a “prophet”…has she ever wondered just what kind of harm she is doing?
I know: no. They do not.
The lies they tell are twisted and sad. They take advantage of vulnerable people. “The demon is out, but God has to take away the temptation.” What???? It is a ladder of lies; what will be the next rung? What will they keep telling this poor kid as he tries to achieve heterosexuality but fails? Sooner or later, when their expectations of him never reach reality, they will cut him with knives. Good old fashioned Christian loving at its best.
Poor kid; he’s so afraid of going to Hell. I hate to tell him, but he’s living his hell now.
petey, you know I reverted to form “Oh, no this bi*ch didn’t go there. I can’t tell”
>sighs<I just hope this kid doesn’t end up hanging himself, or taking a flying leap off an overpass in front of a semi, like many victims of these charlatans and bigots.
It’s too bed we couldn’t transport these b@stards to Planet Stonewall so they get to be the oppressed minority and forced to go to “ex-breeder” camps to restore their natural homosexuality!
Fantasy WorldLet’s hope no girl falls for his crap, because she’s going to be in for a world of disappointment and heartbreak. And maybe a disease or two, when he goes playing around on the downlow.
Some people are so fucked in the head that they’ll believe they’re “cured” just because the people in his/her church says so. It must suck to have so few friends that you go vomiting and acting like a lunatic just to gain acceptance of church folks.
Drama queen!
No, not when he’s financially dependenton his parents. I’ve seen kids younger than him out on the streets.
Been ThereI know his situation, coming from a smalltown where family and the people you grown up with are really the only people you know.
The difference is I had just turned 21, but at the time STILL had no knowledge of the city. I was pushed to choose between sticking with them, being miserable and harassed about my business constantly, and possibly ending in suicide – or taking my chances and going out on my own.
I took off with whatever was in my car, didn’t look back, and 12 years later, I’m still standing and doing much better than I was back then.
I’ve told the story in the Blend beforeIt wasn’t a horrific exorcism or anything like “Jeffrey” went through, but I was 19 broke, drunk, disgusted, and homeless in Harlem when I went into a church, was annoited on my head with olive oil as the pastor prayed “the demon of homosexuality” out of me.
Within an hour, I was….uh….somewhere in Central Park as…uh, “the demon of homosexuality” took me over again. I haven’t looked back since.
an old line from Boys in the Band…..seems still true in some areas“if we could just not hate ourselves….quite so very much”
I’m not really connected with any churchso anything I would say would be speculative but I’ll try my best
1)
Depends on the church and here’s why.
I have heard of cases of women who went to the church to be cured of lesbianism but not of cases where an AA church actually stressed it.
Also, remember there are more women in AA church congregations then men, period. And it is very noticeable. It’s not all about the incarceration rate either, IMO> I know a number of straight AA men (that are uncarcerated) that just aren’t interested in church. I know AA wmen, for example, that will say that they must marry a man who is “saved.” In many churches, that can leave for some mighty slim pickins’
And we’re all so very glad of it, Kev.
something to make your blood run coldMore-or-less on topic: a medical “cure” rather than a religious exorcism, but the same intent, change the person — whatever the cost.
I hope this is some kind of hoax. Unfortunately, this was the kind of quackery that LGBT people risked in this country well into the latter 20th Century.
http://www.boxturtlebulletin.c…
Oh lord! LOLWell, I was forced into “ex-gay therapy” a few months before I got the hell out of dodge, and I’d have to drive to Louisville to see the quack.
After each session, while I was in town, I went straight to the gay bars afterwards! LOL
Like I was going to make an hour drive for just THAT bullshit.
Will have to read your story sometime if I can find it (or if you can direct me to the link).
The person is fake, the “treatments” are real and have happenedThe “doctor” in question is apparently a hoax. But we do know that physical castration, chemical castration, partial lobotomies, electroshock treatments, and drug-induced vomiting aversion “therapies” have all been used to “cure” gay people, particularly men.
The electroshock and drug treatments in particular were happening in the U.S. as recent as the early 1980s, of note, at Brigham Young University. If you were a young man studying at the mormon school, and were outed, you had two choices: undergo those treatments and profess yourself “cured,” or be kicked out of school and your parents notified.
and it is on topic hereYes, and it’s horrific.
We’ve seen this kind of murderous quackery practiced on other sectors of the American population, haven’t we? Eugenics; also the Tuskegee Experiment.
For the latter, see, e.g.,
http://www.tuskegee.edu/global…
Ugly reading.
Another questionIs their an age gap in AA churches are they retaining their youths, or are they becoming aging congregations?
If they are aging and not keeping their youths, the problems they pose us, will die off in another decade or two.
not AA or a member of an AA churchbut I have heard from people who are say that some homophobic pastors have claimed black lesbians do damage to the AA community in two ways (I kid you not):
they force AA men to turn to white women instead of marrying within the AA community
in rejecting men, AA men in particular, they damage the self esteem of AA men and this is what makes many AA men disrespect women
I seem to recall hearing an AA pastor say something similar on Larry King in the past year. The second assertion is pretty similar to what I hear from pretty much any fundamentalist pastor regarding how women are really the ones responsible when men commit sin
Why did the parents allow the minor to appear on national television?my guess is, that as members of the church that performed the “exorcism”, they probably encouraged the boy to appear on national television to make a public spectacle in support of his conversion and the “good” that the church did