Good god, he's been out of political circulation too long — there are cobwebs in former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay's brain. As he prepares for his debut on Dancing With the Stars, the crooked pol tries his hand at some birther spinning, resulting in massive failure when Chris Matthews questions him.

DELAY: Well, I’d like the President to produce his birth certificate. I can. Most illegal aliens here in America can. Why can’t the President of the United States produce their birth certificate? [...]

Chris, will you do me a favor? Will you ask the President to show me his gift certificate — I mean, his — gift certificate — his birth certificate?

MATTHEWS: No, I’m not going to ask him.

DELAY: Oh, c’mon, please!