Former U.S. Senator Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum hasn't been relevant since the good citizens of Pennsylvania tossed him out on his posterior. He spent some time at a think tank stoking the fears of Islamofacism, but he couldn't resist the siren song of The Homosexual Agenda, tossing his hat into the ring with the unfortunately named Two Million for Marriage (2M4M). 

Earlier this year he sent out an e-blast so long-winded that no normal human being would want to waste their time reading the drivel (see “Little Ricky's EPIC FAIL e-blast for the National Organization for Marriage“). He's taking another crack at an e-blast (h/t Joe), and while it's not quite as lengthy, he only seems to have improved his prose-to-fundraising-pitch ratio. The hyperbole is breathtaking. My favorite line I've excerpted above the fold — he gives a shoutout to gay philanthropist Tim Gill that's hilarious:

Make no mistake, the plot to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act is a ruthless attempt by a rich, politically powerful minority to take away the rights of the vast majority of Americans and faith communities.

For example, billionaire gay activist Tim Gill has vowed to “punish the wicked”—meaning people like you who oppose gay marriage. 

That’s why I need you to click here to (1) sign your
online petition to Congress and (2) donate to the Two
Million For Marriage Campaign.

We aim to bury Congress in an avalanche of petitions telling them: “Don’t Mess With Marriage!”  Don’t repeal the Defense of Marriage Act.  Not now.  Not ever. 

But we’ll need every petition.  

And while your petitions are being delivered on Capitol Hill, your contribution will be hard at work throughout America creating a firestorm of resistance to the plan to repeal DOMA. 

See the way-too-long, breathless appeal to ignorance below the fold.

——– Original Message ——–

Subject: 2 Million for Marriage!
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 2009 18:46:22 -0700
From: Rick Santorum 
Reply-To:  
To:  
National Organization for Marriage 2 Million for Marriage - National Organization for Marriage

I need you to be one of 2 million Americans working to STOP Washington from repealing the Defense of Marriage Act. Will you help?

Sign the PetitionMake a Donation

Dear Supporter,

  • Should people who disagree with same-sex marriage be treated by the law as racists and bigots?
  • Should schools force kids to learn that it’s good for men to marry men and women to marry women?
  • Should Congress allow a radical judge in Boston to impose same-sex marriage across the nation?

I trust your answer to these questions is an emphatic “No!”

But these nightmares could happen soon—because President Barack Obama and liberal leaders in Congress have promised to repeal the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). 

That’s why I’m asking you to (1) sign the online petition to Congress and/or (2) send a donation to join the Two Million For Marriage Campaign, a project of my friends at the National Organization for Marriage (NOM).

Our historic campaign has one goal: STOP Congress from abolishing the Defense of Marriage Act (known as DOMA).

DOMA was carefully written to specifically shield any state from being forced to recognize gay marriages from other states. 

This makes DOMA a strong firewall against out-of-control, anti-marriage judges.   

But . . . if Congress repeals DOMA, then gay couples, who “married” in the six states where radical officials have imposed gay marriage, will sue other states to recognize their “marriages”. 

Soon gay marriage, like a grassfire, would spread across America!

In state after state, gay marriage activists and liberal courts would rapidly destroy laws protecting marriage—even constitutional amendments approved by voters.  

That’s why I hope you will join our Two Million For Marriage Campaign with an online gift that will instantly be put into action!

As a U.S. senator, I helped pass the Defense of Marriage Act in 1996. But now President Obama has vowed to “repeal . . . the Defense of Marriage Act.”

President Obama’s campaign was in great part bankrolled by a small yet zealous n
etwork of Hollywood liberals and gay marriage activists.

This elite has been plotting to take away our right to define marriage as a husband and a wife . . . and then to use legalized gay marriage to indoctrinate our children in school.

  • In Massachusetts, where radical judges imposed gay marriage on unwilling citizens, schoolchildren as young as first grade were read books like King and King, which features a gay wedding between two princes, complete with a kiss. 
  • Judges have banned parents from opting out their own children from same-sex “education” in their schools. 
  • A Christian adoption agency—Catholic Charities—was forced to shut down because it refused to obey Massachusetts’ requirement to give innocent children to gay married couples.

Please click here to stop these outrages from spilling across all of America.

Make no mistake, the plot to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act is a ruthless attempt by a rich, politically powerful minority to take away the rights of the vast majority of Americans and faith communities.

For example, billionaire gay activist Tim Gill has vowed to “punish the wicked”—meaning people like you who oppose gay marriage. 

That’s why I need you to click here to (1) sign your
online petition to Congress and (2) donate to the Two
Million For Marriage Campaign.

We aim to bury Congress in an avalanche of petitions telling them: “Don’t Mess With Marriage!”  Don’t repeal the Defense of Marriage Act.  Not now.  Not ever. 

But we’ll need every petition.  

And while your petitions are being delivered on Capitol Hill, your contribution will be hard at work throughout America creating a firestorm of resistance to the plan to repeal DOMA.  Your donation will help:

  • Recruit millions of Americans to stop the repeal of DOMA through ads on radio, TV, Internet, magazines . . . mail and e-mail . . . interviews . . . and more.
  • Build coalitions across parties, races, and denominations to create a chorus to stop the repeal of DOMA that the Washington politicians cannot ignore.
  • Persuade members of Congress.  The National Organization for Marriage is legally allowed to lobby Congress—and with your help, we will!

The National Organization for Marriage—creator of the Two Million For Marriage Campaign—is a proven winner in the battle to defend marriage and children.

We helped win the battle for marriage in California in 2008, playing a crucial lead role in the Proposition 8 marriage amendment. 

We are endorsed by Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family.  Dr. Dobson and his wife, Shirley, personally contributed to the National Organization for Marriage. 

That’s why I urge you to join the Two Million For Marriage Campaign today!  Click here to (1) sign your online petition to Congress and (2) donate to help us convince Congress and America to stop Barack Obama from abolishing the Defense of Marriage Act.

If we don’t act now, DOMA will soon be repealed—quickly, quietly, and with little fanfare—just like the gay marriage activists are planning. 

It’s up to us—you and me—to stop them by petitioning Congress and recruiting millions of Americans to join in our effort. 

Please let me hear from you today.

God bless you,

Rick Santorum
National Organization for Marriage is a tax-exempt corporation under section 501(c)(4) of the Internal Revenue Code. Financial contributions to NOM are not tax-deductible.