You may want to put this mesmerizing tome on your Amazon wishlist for the holidays. The leader of the “pray-away-the-gay” organization Exodus International, the dapper Alan Chambers, has penned Leaving Homosexuality. He sat down with CitizenLink's editor Gary Schneeberger to talk about his 20-year struggle to contain his unwanted same-sex attractions through faith.
Schneeberger: Now, I’ve heard it, and you’ve heard it: Gay activists are going to read that and say, again, “Alan Chambers is living a lie. He’s suppressing who he really is.” You make a great point in the book that is very applicable to anyone who struggles with any temptation — and that is, self-denial isn’t a bad thing. How do you respond to those who say you’re just living a lie?
Chambers: For so long I’ve heard gay activists say to me, “You’re just in denial. You’re not grasping the reality of the situation. You’re just denying who you really are.” The truth is, I am in denial, but it is self-denial. I’m not in denial of who I used to be. I’m not in denial of the temptations that I could still experience. I am denying the power that sin has over me.
Sin does not have any power that we don’t give it, and what I’ve found is that my freedom – and the freedom of others I’ve known who’ve left homosexuality — was centered around denying what might come naturally to us regardless of how it got there. And once you deny sin’s power, you can live a free life.
The most authentic part of my life is first and foremost my relationship with Christ, but sitting here where I’m doing this interview in my back yard — with my kids and with my wife — this is who I am. This is who I want to be. This is the truth of my life. This is who I was created to be. And this is what brings me happiness.
I don't have a problem with Chambers and his personal desire to identify as heterosexual or celibate or anything of the sort. He can deny the natural sexual orientation that he believes God mistakenly gave him. He clearly sees same-sex attraction as a “biological error” of some kind that he has to deal with in the context of his religious beliefs. That's his worldview. At least he's true to himself.
The problem I have with Chambers and Exodus is that they profit on this point of view, only adding to the suffering of those who are struggling with their sexual orientation because of homophobia in our society. This is particularly onerous if the questioning people are of faith — in the world of the ex-gay movement there is no religious affirmation that being LGBT is not sinful or a roadblock to heaven.
It is a movement that takes its disinformation around the country in roadshows like Love Won Out, where parents of LGBT youth who are in denial about their child's orientation, are told that they can send their kid away to a camp to be de-gayed by prayer and receive ”gender-appropriate” coaching on how to be a masculine man or feminine woman. Chambers is aware this is a huge PR problem, so to sell his book, he blunts this fact with the soft sell:
Schneeberger: Some parents and friends of those who identify as homosexual are going to see this book and think, “I’m going to just drop this off for so-and-so.” But I know that’s not the ideal way you see this kind of resource being used. How should those who have a loved one living homosexually use the book? Why is it a bad idea to go just drop this off if someone may not be in the place where they can receive it?
Chambers: Certainly parents or family and friends are well-meaning in their desire to help their loved ones dealing with these issues. But it goes back to the premise that leaving homosexuality isn’t the point. If they have a loved one who doesn’t know the Lord, homosexuality should be a very back-burner issue. The most important thing for someone who doesn’t know the Lord is that they know Christ, not that they leave homosexuality.
So for a parent or a loved one who sees this as, “This is so good; I’m going to send this to my kid,” you may alienate them, turn them off. If they pray about it, if there’s a conversation about it, if it’s done in a respectful way, maybe that could be the right thing. But we have to really respect, regardless of whether we like it or not, where our kids are at in their journey. And if they’re not in a place where they’re looking to leave homosexuality, it might just send them further away or alienate them more if we continually make this a priority issue in our relationship.
OK, talk about walking the tightrope on that one. Clearly Chambers wants to have it both ways. He wants parents to buy the book, and then the onus is on them to be ones to decide if it's appropriate to pass on the propaganda to the kids. The mothers and fathers most likely to buy this book are ill-informed about homosexuality and or the process of coming out to begin with; that are already negatively predisposed to the issue and the kid's only going to end up confused and alienated no matter what escape hatch Chambers tries to create to ensure healthy book sales.



18 Comments





Has it occured to anyone that he is bisexual rather than a ‘recovering gay?’Because attraction does seem to be immutable, as does the gender that you can form emotional attatchments to.
Was he simply living as gay, with a psyche capable of both attractions?
We will never know, but I do strongly suspect that the ‘successful’ cures are either what the alcohol recovery comunity might call ‘white knuckle heterosexuality’ or are individuals who discovered their sexuality in a same sex format but were capable of opposite sex attractions as they were truly bisexual….
How does he deal with transgender issues?“He can deny the natural sexual orientation that he believes God mistakenly gave him. He clearly sees same-sex attraction as a “biological error” of some kind that he has to deal with in the context of his religious beliefs. That’s his worldview. At least he’s true to himself.”
Because if he can admit that God made a biological error, then he, to be true to himself, must also believe that someone born into the ‘wrong’ gender is also a mistake by God – and fixing it means accepting the need to live as one’s ‘correct’ gender.
I’m sure he condemns transgender people but then he is having it both ways and is not ‘true to himself’. My guess is that he sees the belief that you were born into the wrong gender as the error. Guess I answered my own question….
But what a tangled web we weave as we try to fit a complex biological and social world into a simplistic mindset of fundamentalist religion.
I always get a bit ‘huh’? whenever I hear this sort of story.It underlines, to a slightly disturbing degree, how little the people of my country have in common with many people in the country that I have, to all intents and purposes, married into.
The idea that a question of personal faith might cause serious problems for the acceptance of your own or another person’s sexuality, has simply passed into history in my own part of the world. Even our Catholic priests do not, privately, assert that gay people are sinful or that they should change in any way. The idea that someone should have to struggle with this issue for reasons of religious conviction is simple obsolete.
Nobody accepts it anymore. It is a side-product of 19th century American medicine-show evangelism.
It’s not like the haters have a shortage of books of lies about usThis is just one more….pffffft
Thank you, steerpike66I really appreciate hearing and reading perspectives on American religious/cultural manifestations from people in places other than the US — where are you from? I know not all countries are as religiously/secularly adversarial and split as we seem to be here. It does us good, I think, to be reminded that there ARE other models we can aspire to.
OH, Another one! if you are living for and with the Lord and you are “struggling with” anything that is not to be in you–that is in the Lords Way for His plans–He Will Remove what is in His Way. You would not be struggling with it for 20 years! If something is in us then we are able to allow Him to deliver us from it!
Bless him Lord –he is wrong and confused!
So many really don’t get it–And don’t want to get it–This is not a choice –
God did not ask anyone before He created us, for their opinion and wants.
He did not ask not one straight person if they wanted to be straight. He did not ask not one gay person if they wanted to be gay!
He did not ask anyone if they wanted to be white, Black, Latino, Asian, African, Italian, He did not ask if we wanted to be a woman or a man, didn’t ask anyone what kind of family they wanted to be born in–what part of the country or world they wanted to be born in–didn’t ask anyone what talents and gifts they wanted!
And so on….
We All have been created as He saw fit to create us.
I am not going to waste precious time trying to convince anyone that God makes no mistakes and that my life is a choice..yeah right–like any of us would chose to be a person that sooooo many hate, abuse, reject, etc…also i must have chosen to be a woman of color also!
loloolo
I forgive Him Lord! moving on!
Has it occured to you that he’s a lying piece of shit?That’s invariably the case.
how they thinkHe doesn’t think God made a biological error.
God doesn’t make errors.
That “biological error” is Satan corrupting the good work of God. It is Original Sin destroying God’s perfection.
Transgender people are believed to be deceived or even more damaged than gay people in their universe. They claim all of this springs from sexual abuse. After all, if you’re sexually abused because you’re one sex, doesn’t it make sense to become the other sex and escape the abuse? (Yes, I know it makes as much sense as sexual abuse by men makes girls reject male sexuality but boys cling to it)
That darn homosexual next door!Wasn’t God’s Grace And The Homosexual Next Door enough book for Chambers?
Geez. Like we really needed one more book on Alan Chamber’s musings and life. Apparently, one wasn’t enough.
“I forgive Him Lord!”That’s like forgiving a bank robber who continues to rob banks.
Forgive Chambers after he confesses to profitting from the pain and suffering of others by selling a snake oil cure for homosexuality.
Chambers and those like him can only be forgiven by those of faith when they give up their sinful ways.
People die because of Chambers and his organization. Many more are damaged mentally and emotionally. Collectively, his victims pay millions of dollars for a fake cure.
I save forgiveness for those who sincerely ask for it, and then don’t repeat the hurtful behaviorEveryone else can bugger off. Including Alan Chambers, whose goal is to make money off the backs of the fearful.
“Religion easily-has the best bullshit story of all time. Think about it. Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.” – George Carlin
“Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it, you’d have good people doing good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it takes religion.” – Steven Weinberg, Nobel Laureate in physics
correction, PamIn the 3rd paragraph after the first quote you wrote “It is a movement that takes its disinformation around the country…”
Please, change it to “around the world.” That’s the problem. They are not just keeping it in the US or Europe, where people have a choice whether to pursue their alleged cures or what-will-you. They take their show to countries where gays are actively persecuted socially or legally. (And while they may not be doing it as a group, they are doing it as individual board members of Exodus.)
Nice Touch!When this guy gives an interview it’s always mentioned that:
He is married
He has sired children
I guess that is to remind the audience for the book that he is straight. Straight I tell you! (roll eyes)
Dena
P.S. Maybe I’m wrong about this but having sex with men and having sex with women means only one thing.
He’s bi.
Somebody here mention Jesus?O yeah:
“The most authentic part of my life is first and foremost my relationship with Christ”
… a 33-year old Jewish man who never married, lived with his mom, and whose 12 closest friends were men.
I strongly agreeand I think that many of the ex-gays are as well,,,
Parents & LiteratureAs someone who has parents involved in Focus on the Family/Love Won Out ex-gay propaganda, I find Chambers’ admonition to parents manipulative.
On one hand, Chambers says be careful not to “alienate” your children by sending them his [anti-gay] book. On the other, he says parents should instead worry about their kids’ relationship with Christ. So, basically he’s giving parents a license to say “hey, I don’t send you anti-gay literature,” while continually “praying” for them to be “closer” to Jesus, which, of course means that being gay is out of the question. Then, when their children feel alienated by being told they are sinners, parents get to blame the LGBT child for not being more “open” to alternative points of view about faith.
As Pam implies, Chambers’ message needs to be called out for what it is: spiritual abuse.
I have a box chock-full of literature and books from the ex-gay industry — sent to be by my parents and other family members when I came out. I’d get rid of the books but don’t want them purchased at a second-hand store & I really have an aversion against burning books, no matter how much I may disagree with them. Here’s hoping Chambers’ book doesn’t arrive at my doorstep. Ack!
Anyway, it took me years to heal from my faith background and getting books like Chambers’ didn’t help at all. I am thankful to have had other places to turn for information — like PFLAG, Soulforce, and others. I guess I can just hope those resources are even stronger today than they were when I came out. That way, when some LGBT teen gets Chambers’ book in the mail, they can calmly set it aside and move on with their lovely lives.
If this were 20 years ago…I’d say that it was an issue. However, I do not really have a problem with what he does. Some people who are gay, or regonize that they have same sex attractions…genuinely do not want to be considered or identified with being gay. For some people that has a religious connotation. For others it may be for cultural or family reasons.
In any case, these days there is sufficient information available to anyone struggling with this issue (both for and against). Its ultimately up to individuals to do what is necessary to make them happy. If this man feels that he will be happiest being a christian and married to a woman, who are we to argue with that? Why is it such a problem for us acknowledge that there are people that might want out for whatever reason. We lose noting by allowing people to make a choice (even when you think it is a bad one).
You know, black Americans have had all sorts of things done to us, and received a wide arroay of mistreatment. But most black folks are able to get by being black. Michael Jackson, on the otherhand, had the money, to try and make himslef appear white. He did think knowing full well that there are plenty of successful and respected individuals that are black (including members of his own family). But deep within him a voice obviously told him that either the “real” him or the “better” him should appear white. Should that be condemend or seen as a valid choice?
I had a similar discussion with a friend about a hypothetical “anti-gay” pill. My position was that as long as long as no one is FORCED into making changes that they don’t want, let them do what they think is best for them. If they want to share their experience with others feeling the same way…so be it. If you believe differently, then you can and should speak up to ensure that all perspectives are heard. But let us not neccarily condemn people for not being what we think they should be…or for not doing what we think works best for us.
I’m IrishYeah, I know. But we seem to have no real stomach for religious zeal anymore.