NOTE FROM PAM: Former Co-Chair of the Obama LGBT Leadership Council during the 2008 campaign, Stampp Corbin, contributed this essay on discrimination that is spot on — it discusses the numerous subtle ways that we are “othered” every day in a heterocentric society that have a great impact on our lives.

Counting all forms of discrimination against LGBTs

by Stampp Corbin

The original definition of the word discrimination was a harmless one. It’s meant to have the ability to detect fine distinctions, like a wine connoisseur can detect citrus and oak in different bottles of chardonnay. Today the word discrimination is used to describe treatment based upon a class or category, rather than individual merit or simply put, prejudice. Discrimination comes in all forms, from the overt to the subtle.

When it comes to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community, discrimination against us is often some of the most subtle. Much of it is so subtle; most Americans don’t even know it exists. How are members of the LGBT community discriminated against? Let me count the ways.

First, there is our inability to be open and honest about our relationships at work. Whether it is in the military or at the local family restaurant, some in the LGBT community are closeted at work because they can be fired in many states just for being a member of the LGBT community. Yet, our straight co-workers can extol their divorces and third marriage to reckless abandon. A gay man talking about his 12 year relationship with his partner, not good.

Let me count the ways. In some states where gays and lesbians have domestic partnership or civil union health care benefits, those benefits are taxed as ordinary income. That means a gay spouse pays $1,000 to the government for the same $3,000 worth of benefits that are given to a straight spouse with no taxation. When it comes to the military, “traditional” families are given many benefits when their loved one is deployed. LGBT families get none of these benefits. In fact, many LGBT partners are informed of their loved one’s death not by the military, but by the soldier’s family. Thanks for making the ultimate sacrifice. We would have kicked you out anyway had we known you were gay or lesbian.

Let me count the ways. If my brother and I were killed in an automobile accident and my brother left an estate of $1 million, his wife would receive his entire estate tax free. My partner Scott would be forced to pay an estate tax of about 30 percent because the federal government does not consider us related. So Scott pays $300,000 to Uncle Sam, my brother’s wife would pay nothing. That is discriminatory.

When it comes to social security, my sister-in-law would be the beneficiary of my brother’s social security, my partner Scott would get absolutely nothing. So the LGBT community is contributing to the stability of the social security system by letting all the money we have contributed go back into the system at our death, instead of to our loved ones. Sound fair to you?

Then there are those pesky hospital situations. Scott and I had to hire an attorney to ensure that he has the power to make medical decisions for me. No problem for my sister-in-law, this ability is automatic with her marriage certificate. What’s worse is my sister-in-law simply has to state to the doctor or nurse, “I am his wife.” No asking for proof, it is accepted. Scott says “I am his partner,” the response often is “Do you have a living will stating so, and do you have a copy for our records?” Isn’t discrimination grand?

Let me count the ways. How about the member of the LGBT community that falls in love with someone from another country. Does their partner get to immigrate to the U.S.? Absolutely not. A straight couple, the spouse is welcomed with open arms. In fact, mail order brides still exist and they get automatic citizenship. LGBT partners, get in line; you may get citizenship in seven to ten years. All men are created equal…except lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgender.

So now you know. The LGBT community is discriminated against in everyday life. There are over 1,100 rights that married couples get from the federal government that Scott and I are denied. So what are you going to do about it? Are you going to be part of the problem or the solution?