To say I’m angry at some of my trans peers for their comments on white, gay men in the diary Aravosis Needs To Issue His Own Apology To Trans People Before Citing TGs Regarding Fed LGBT Issues is an understatement.
How does one take a diary about one famous blogger’s comments on trans people and turn it into a thread where white gay men are attacked with a broad brush? Especially with the diversity focus of Pam’s House Blend? Incredible.
Frankly, I’m more than a bit disgusted with some of my trans peers who commented on in that thread, and I’ve sent out warning emails to a few telling these particular commenters that painting white gay men with a broad brush in unacceptable. That kind of commenting is considered widely offensive in accordance with the Pam’s House Blend Terms And Conditions Of Service.
So to my trans peers who want to slam white gay men as a group for Aravosis’ comments: Enough already. That behavior is unacceptable at The Blend, and should be unacceptable everywhere within the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community.
I’m disappointed that a number of my trans peers don’t “get” the messages of Martin Luther King Jr.:
The good neighbor looks beyond the external accidents and discerns those inner qualities that make all men human and, therefore, brothers.
We have flown the air like birds and swum the seas like fishes, but have yet to learn the simple act of walking the earth like brothers.
I wish those of my peers who make broad brush comments against a fellow subcommunities of their broader community would get that LGBT civil rights are about human rights. And, white gay men are human too, and they deserve the equal rights that they don’t enjoy within our society as much as trans people deserve the equal rights they too don’t enjoy.
For what it’s worth — and I don’t know how much it’s worth — let me say how very sorry I am that white gay men who read this blog were so wrongly attacked in the afore mentioned thread. I certainly didn’t mean for my commentary about one white gay man to be unjustly applied to white, gay men as a group. Believe me when I tell you that that kind of broad brush painting is as offensive behavior to me as it was to many of you.
Pam has a link up on the top of our blog that is titled Please read this note about civility on the Blend…. Please do. Pam’s House Blend is designed to be a virtual LGBT coffee house where friends discuss a wide range of issues — just like one would at a brick and mortar LGBT coffee house. Personal attacks, community attacks, and subcommunity attacks are just not acceptable behavior between friends.
And too, please take a read also read the Pam’s House Blend Terms And Conditions Of Service. The statements there on widely offensive comments apply to everyone on The Blend — not just “the other guy.”
And as a last comment, we’re setting aside July 10th here at The Blend as Civility Day. It’s a day we’re going to talk among ourselves about being civil to one another, and being civil to others outside the LGBT community. If you have thoughts about civility among ourselves and/or among various communities, that’s a day where baristas and blenders alike are welcome to post diaries about the subject.
NOTE FROM PAM: I want to second the call for civility. Autumn volunteered to help with the onerous duty of monitoring some of the threads on PHB because I have so little time to watch each comment or post. [I've been offline for most of the last few days for medical reasons (new fibromylagia med side effects gone horribly wrong), so I missed the first post altogether -- and it didn't take much to see it would be contentious -- until it was way out of control.]
I’m really shocked by some of the tone coming from regular commenters, not just newbies. None of it is excusable — everyone receives the TOS when they sign up for an account. At this point a link to a post on civility is right up at the top of the blog. No one has an excuse for the kinds of comments toward one another we’re seeing, even over a contentious topic. Count to 10 and really think whether you would say some of the things you plan to say online you would say offline in the real world. If that’s the way you would converse without the cloak of anonymity the Internet provides, it may be time for you to find another virtual coffeehouse.