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If you have an hour to listen to this in the background, this is worth your time. Kim Pearson talks about having a transgender child who transitioned before age 18, and about TransYouth Family Allies (TYFA).
Transgender Youth
May 28th, 2009 by equalityarizonaradioListen up as Emmy Award winning host Donna Rossi talks with Kim Pearson of Trans Youth Family Allies (TYFA) about their work in advocating for the rights and welfare of transgender youth.
A quote from Kim Pearson, the president of TYFA, on transitioning 5-year-olds (from about halfway through the audio piece):
The biggest concern people have — and even some of the “experts” … — but the experts will say that there are risks involved in letting a child that young transition. And, my answer to that is that there are equal risks involved in not letting a child that young transition.I’ve always raised my kids under the guideline of “What’s the worst case scenario? What’s the worst thing that could happen?” The worst thing that could happen with transitioning a 5-year-old — a miserable, suicidal 5-year-old — transitioning them, and the question is “What if they change their minds?”
And my answer is “What if they do?”
You haven’t really changed anything except their hairstyle and their clothes and the name that you call them and the pronouns. So, if they change their mind, you change it back. It’ll be uncomfortable; it’ll be embarrassing — but you know what? That’s more about you — the parent — than about the child. And, what have you done for that child except send tell them — you’ve sent a very strong message — I love you NO MATTER WHAT.
So, you’ve kept their self esteem intact.
7 Comments
Clothes
And the way they’re growing, you were going to have to buy them new clothes anyway.
WowThat’s the most moving, cogent response I’ve ever seen to the fear-mongering about transitioning children. Beautifully stated, and all the more powerful coming from a parent.
Autumn, thanks for re-posting this.
Amazing!How much simpler could it be? If the child changes their mind later, you just change with them! Unconditional love!
i ws floored……when i took adoption classes to be certified as a potential parent. i completed certification before my financial situation bottomed out.
During week after week of classes, it was painfully obvious that almost everyone there were ‘good and proper god-fearing folk’ who ran their houses like nothing more than christian mills.
One family had two Indian boys removed from them after forcibly cutting their long hair off, and making them go to church and abandon their ‘heathen ways’.
Several made statements over the weeks that ‘under their roof, it was god’s law or no roof’. Smiles and back-clapping all around.
The week that LGBT issues were discussed, you could feel the hostile tension in the room. When the fact was brought up that a large portion of the street kids had lost homes due to being different somehow, it was met with cold indifference all around.
One woman had the nerve to openly state that it was ‘better to keep them isolated from younger children in school because of their recruiting tactics’.
When trans youth were then talked about, the entire class had a collective amused air of ‘it’s just a phase…pound it out of them’.
Ultimately, there are so many children in need of a home that there’s little the system can do other than hand them off to ‘loving’ new parents that ‘knows what’s best for them’.
It made me sick.
This interview is greatHi Autumn,
I found this interview so much a joy to here from a parent of a trans kid. I found my heart breaking for both her and her son at times. but it seems Kim is one of the few level headed parents out there and it was refreshing to hear her words.
Michelle
This was very touching…Thanks for posting this, Autumn.
I’m kinda curiousas to Kim’s husband and his reaction. Was he equally as accepting?