As a pasty-white gay guy …… I will not comment how the invisibility of the Black LGBT community within the larger African-American community.
But will add my two cents on Black Pride from the standpoint of the larger LGBT community.  And I will simply state that as heterosexist as some straight black people can be, the racism among white LGBT people can be just as bad, if not worse.
Here in DC, we have a big, vibrant Black Pride event every here over Memorial Day weekend, followed by “Capitol Pride” (Proud of what, I always ask … of the Capitol Building?  But I digress …) in late June.  Many of the Capitol Pride organizers would love to see Black Pride go away, figuring that then all of the people who participate in Black Pride would just come to the “all-inclusive” Pride celebrations a few weeks later.  Except that those celebrations don’t feel so inclusive for many of my black friends, who attend Black Pride every year and Capitol Pride every five years, if that.
I won’t lie … I’d love it if my friends told me how included they felt at Capitol Pride and how they didn’t feel the need to have a Black Pride celebration any longer.  But we’re not nearly there yet, it would seem.

Why don’t you go to a Black Pride, red?You’d be welcome.
I will say that there is more inclusion in the larger LGBT Prides than in “the black community” (and I am so sick of that phrase, even though I understand what is being conveyed)
I have to work but I do have some thoughts about this.  

I’d like to …I would like to attend DC’s Black Pride events, but am always out of town over Memorial Day weekend.  It’s sort of a tradition to visit my friends who live in Rehoboth Beach that weekend and ring in the summer with the sounds of seagulls and ocean waves in the background …

And if I’m not mistaken…This show is filmed in Atlanta, GA where there is a large black gay population.  It is sad.

I know and it’s a dragI wish lgbts of color would raise more hell. I can’t man a pitchfork by myself. lol

Why do you think we don’t raise more hell?I mean, I have my own ideas (more like theories) about this.
But I want to hear what you have to say.

When situations happenWhen certain things happen, I would like to see more lgbts of color raising hell. Such as when BET continues to show the motion picture Soul Plane almost once month with its very ugly images of black gay men.
Or the issue regarding T.D. Jakes’s son.
Or when issues arise where lgbts of color are publicly disrespected by pastors such as Harry Jackson and Ken Hutcherson.
Anything that gets the conversation moving to the fact that lgbts exist in the black community and we are being shut out of the equation.

Or Obama’s political and spiritualmentor, James Meeks.
And don’t forget Tavis Smiley’s mother either.
And let me not forget Sister Donnie McClurkin’s latest drama, comparing homosexuality to diabetes.
My thing is, they know that lgbts exist in the black community, hell, they see us every Sunday morning. A don’t ask/don’t tell policy is one thing. But it’s DADT + blatant disrespect that makes me want to slap quite a few people.
By the way, the thing I don’t like about your phrase “the black community” is that it really does make it seem like it’s a monolith and it really isn’t. On one hand, it lends itself to easily into racism. But I am more so thinking of that in the way that there seems to be this way of being “authentically black” and for some reason, lgbts fail the exam, or so black people think.

The lack of conversationwas a part of why of the almost 50 clips I took Wednesday, the one of Bob Talbot testifying for Maine’s equal marriage bill was the one I posted FIRST with repeat of his earlier BDN editorial (ME NAACP support).
There was one young black woman speaking for the opposition who said she was very offended that the civil rights argument/ Loving v. Wirginia case was being discussed in conjunction with the marriage equality bill. (this was about an hour or so after Mr. Talbot had delivered his powerful speech, which got a bleachers-shaking standing ovation)
I did not get a clip, but in the WCSH interview yesterday (posted on the EQME Betsy Smith diary, below fold), Mark Mutty of Maine Marriage Initiative/ Roman Catholic Diocese of Portland spoke of her and her testimony.
Reverend Bob Emrich (diaried a few weeks ago) disputed Mr. Talbot’s BDN editorial with one of his own, bringing in the “Prop 8/ black community doesn’t support” strawman argument into our local debate. I found THAT offensive.
Do all blacks in Maine support the LGBTQ community? Damned if I know. But when the head of Bangor’s NAACP says they do and his brother (our state’s first AA state representative) issues testimony (albeit through his daughter’s reading of his statement), those are strong and visible shows of support.

I just got really angry about Bob Emrich, Louise. I really did. What in the fuck does Prop 8 hhave to do with that debate in Maine.  

Let me throw a suggestion out hereI thought about this last night.
I don’t think the whole “being gay is a choice” question that straight black folks tend to throw out there is phrased correctly. I think it’s about why would you be gay and choose to be visible.
I had one AA woman on huff post that actually had the stunningly unmitigated gall to infer that maybe I should learn to walk and act straight in order to be covered on federal hate crime statutes.
In other words, at least look like you’re straight even if you’re not.
I can’t tell you how horribly offensive that was.
 

Not eff-all to do with it.Not a single thing at all.
That’s what is so damned quietly pervasive- the occasional connection between bigotry against all LGBTQ rights being fought for across the country and racism. What Emrich did was use one form of hate as an excuse as another.
And some people bought it and will continue to buy it- until it is all called out for what it is.
Argh, I’m so far into water over my head here. Feel like a middle-schooler trying to talk at a graduate level!
BTW, I’ve now got almost all of the Youtube clips I made up (had I known that no one else in the frigging building was gonna make and post them I would have tried to do better!!)- check out, if you haven’t yet, Robert Talbots’s and the reading by Regina Phillips of her father’s, Gerald Talbot, testimony via written statement.
My signature below links to them…

I think we value the black “family” over our “sexuality”Kevin, I know you didn’t ask me but I had to put my two cents in on this.
I’m in my early 30s and almost every black gay man I have met has placed a premium on maintaining a relationship, however tortured, with his family and community institutions (fraternity, church, etc.).
I compare that to white gays who seem to have had less willingness to maintain those ties.  I don’t have enough experience with gay Latinos, Native Americans, or Asians to make a comparison.
Because most black people grow up with a sense that black people are an essential “oasis” or “protection” from a racist society, we strive to keep our connections to those outlets and people.  That same sense of community is not always there for gay people newly introduced to “the life.”
In effect, we separate our race from our sexuality.  
We figure that the occasional homophobic comment is worth dealing with as long as we remain in the “family.”  We may even form secret circles of gaydom within these structures, which many straight blacks are blind to or are willing to ignore as long as the gayness is not “confirmed.”
That said, I’m happy to be on the planning committee of Nashville’s black pride and am looking forward to creating some quality programming for October!

Anthony you know I always appreciate your inputAnd you are right.
This gets to a certain core of why many in my own family are resentful against me. I had no problem leaving Detroit and my family and I haven’t really looked back. I have lived in Chicago for 18 years but I’ve only visited Detroit 6 times in those 18 years. I never felt that I had that oasis of protection.
In that sense, which is critical, I probably do identify more with white gays.
I’ve been to a couple of Black Prides here in Chicago and one too many people started throwing that “you act white” shit at me. I haven’t been to a Black Pride event in a few years now.  

I know what you mean, I have a strange deal with my family right nowThey’ve known I was gay since I was 17, but for the most part they do not talk about it, aside from my mother talking about in her research she has decided that it’s not a choice because “nobody would choose something like that.”
That quote probably sounds worse than I interpreted it, but facts are facts.
My grandfather was a preacher and as far as I know did not acknowledge gayness, despite having a gay son.  It wasn’t a “pray the gay away,” more like “ignore it and it may go away.”
As I type, I’m having this email battle with my sister, who has recently come to the conclusion that the DL is real and more prevalent than people think.
Family is one of those strange things. For a lot of people, nobody else will extend themselves for you like family. My experience has borne that out.  But nobody can hurt you like family either.

YeahI mean, the family members of mine that are supportive are really really supportive (my Mom, my fundamentalist auntie) and the ones who are anti-gay are really anti-gay [one cousin who's like a brother, my bro (who is getting better, though)]. Plus there are issues of abandonment that they deal with as far as me not visiting them for 7 years and not knowing (or accepting) who I am.
And that sense of estrangement and alienation applies to “the black community” as well.

I’m with you in respect to the “black community”I remember when I was the president of the Black Student Union in college and wrote a column for Coming Out Day. I got a phone call from a friend who kindly let me know how much I was being roasted/discussed among black students.  But to my face nobody said anything.  Yet I wasn’t really “in” with them either.
Ever since then I have not had much automatic affection for the “community” since in many ways it is conditional.